


rest with the snakes

by ValentineRunaway



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: First Kiss, Other, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Teacher-Student Relationship, alternative universe, cute shit dude idk it makes even my heart go doki doki, kind of, thanks tik tok for making me write this, this is just a simple story where you can simp after snape thats it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:41:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26543887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ValentineRunaway/pseuds/ValentineRunaway
Summary: It's 1982. After failing your N.E.W.T.s and getting caught from doing a silly prank, you get to repeat your seventh year in order to become a Healer. But during your last year at Hogwarts, you have to attend detention with professor Snape. During your detention, you find out that Severus Snape isn't as cruel as you thought ...
Relationships: Severus Snape & Reader, Severus Snape/Original Female Character(s), Severus Snape/Original Male Character(s), Severus Snape/Reader
Comments: 43
Kudos: 228





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first "reader x character" fanfiction so go easy on me!
> 
> So, I'm doing my best to keep the reader, aka you, as gender neutral as possible. So in this story you won't be referred to as 'witch', 'wizard', 'boy' or 'girl', but I try to use gender neutral terms since whoever is reading this can be of any gender! I also don't mention the house the reader is in, so anyone can connect to this story! 
> 
> I'm pretty nervous to post this since it's been a while since the last time I wrote something, but I hope you enjoy this simple story. It's time to simp for Snape.
> 
> Inspiration to write this fic is thanks to @fluffybiscuithead from Tik Tok, go check out their content!

If you would have known that dropping a few dungbombs in the Great Hall would throw you in Headmaster’s office, you wouldn’t have done it. But here you were.

The feeling of anxiety made your hands sweat and your whole body turn tense. Your shoulders almost reached your ears as you sat on a creaky chair in front of Dumbledore’s desk that was covered in rolls of parchment, a single black quill and a small bottle with ink in it. Dumbledore’s Fenix was watching over you like some sort of guard. You think that bird’s name was Fawkes. You recall Dumbledore mentioning him once during some speech he had held at breakfast. This was the first time you had actually seen Fawkes in flesh. Beautiful being, but also a little scary because of the way the bird kept staring at you.

You look around the circular room. The walls were covered in paintings of the previous headmasters and headmistresses, all of them sleeping peacefully. You thought it was kind of funny they were sleeping. It made each witch and wizard seem more human like that. There were a lot of dust covered books in the room, and objects made of silver that sparkled under the light. 

You peek over your shoulder and look at the door that you had stepped through only two minutes ago. Dumbledore had asked to see you and you weren’t late, so that must have meant that Dumbledore himself was running late. Or then he was going to get other teachers to be present. The clock ticking in the silence only made you feel more nervous, and regretful. How much trouble were you in?

Everyone in the school knew what you had done. But not too many knew why.

You had decided to take your N.E.W.T.s so you could become a Healer in the future, just like your biological mother. But only a week before the test, you received a letter that told you that your mother had passed. 

Suicide.

You still don’t know how your mother did it, the details were fuzzy. Maybe it was better that you didn't know too much about her death. Despite that, you still yearned to know why she had done it, because now you had lost your mother, and the world around you suddenly felt threatening, dark and empty - Like it had no place for someone like you. Now, because of your mother's death, you couldn’t finish your N.E.W.T.s. You didn’t even write your name on the parchment. You just gave up because you didn't know what else to do.

So, obviously, like any reasonable witch or wizard would do after failure, you released a dozen dungbombs during the test that made the whole room stink like sh--

Suddenly the door opened and Dumbledore entered the room, professor Severus Snape and professor Minerva McGonacall following after him. You swallowed nervously. Both of those professors were known to be quite strict, especially Snape. Luckily the man didn’t even look at you when he moved to stand next to Dumbledore’s desk, while the headmaster himself sat down onto his chair, mumbling something to himself. Your eyes met with professor McGonacall, who shook her head in disapproval. The tension in the room told you that you weren't going to hear good news.

“So, Y/N, I’ve heard that thanks to your actions, multiple chairs and desks now have such a strong putrid odor on them that our caretaker will be washing them the whole summer to get rid of the smell”, Dumbledore said calmly. He didn’t seem angry, but actually quite amused. You could tell that Dumbledore was holding back a smile. “Am I correct?”

“Yes”, you confessed. “I guess my dungbombs were more effective than expected.”

“Indeed, they were”, Dumbledore said, then started searching something from his desk, muttering to himself as to where it was. Professor McGonacall approached the desk and gave Dumbledore the piece of parchment that he had been looking for. It looked suspiciously like your test paper.

“You didn’t answer a single question in your N.E.W.T.s, I see”, Dumbledore said, fixing his glasses and leaning closer to the paper to inspect it better. Then, his oddly calming eyes looked over at you as he asked: “And why is that?”

You opened your mouth to say that it wasn’t your test paper, but then paused. There was no point in lying. Dumbledore was a wise wizard, professor McGonagall could definitely tell that you were lying, and ...  Professor Snape was watching you with a look that was hard to read. At least he wasn’t glaring down at you like he usually did.

You released a sigh and fixed your posture. _'You got this',_ you thought to yourself. _'Just tell them the truth.'_

“I didn’t do the test because …. my mother recently passed away, and I was too distracted”, you stammered, nervously scratching the skin of your thumb. “Besides, I don’t think I studied enough anyway. So what’s the point in even trying?”

Ouch. You didn’t mean to sound so much like someone who has given up everything. Because you haven’t. At least you thought you were stronger than this. 

“Oh?” Dumbledore raised his eyebrows. “I thought I had received an owl from your mother just few weeks ago --”

“I was talking about my _real_ mother”, you interrupted him.

Your mother and father had never married, but had you on accident. Still, even if they weren’t planning for a child, they had loved you anyway. Your father lived in the city with his new girlfriend and he was the one communicating with the school staff and making sure you had your uniform and your textbooks and so on. Your father was the strict parent who took care of everything and made sure you did your housework on time. Your real mother, on the other hand, lived on a farm and you spend most of your time with her because living on a farm was great! And on top of that your mother went easy on you. She had never pressured you to do anything and she was always so loving.

Well, not anymore since she’s dead. Now you probably had to live with your father and your ‘step-mother’ that didn’t seem to like you that much. Oh boy. 

“Oh, right, of course. I’m sorry to hear about her passing”, Dumbledore said, his tone turning quiet. “But a punishment is still needed. After all, all the other students who were taking N.E.W.T.s with you are now doing the test all over again.”

“I’m sorry to interrupt, professor”, Severus suddenly stepped in after being so quiet that it felt like he wasn’t even paying attention. “But Y/N is about to graduate, whether they failed their N.E.W.T.s or not. I’m not sure what kind of a punishment would be effective at the end of the school year.”

You couldn’t believe your ears. Was Severus Snape, the head of Slytherin house, defending you in his own way?

“Oh, I’m sure failing the test is good enough punishment for them”, professor McGonagall said, pouting. “Maybe take 50 house points from them, too, while we’re at it!”

You didn’t really care about the house points. Oh no, your house wasn’t the best during your last year. What a nightmare.  But failing N.E.W.T.s was a nightmare, indeed. You still wished to become a healer, especially now after your mom had passed. Losing house points didn't matter at all, but not being able to pursue the career you wanted was another thing. You had to try and do the test again, no matter what.

So, you stood up and turned your hands into tight fists, your nails digging into the skin so hard it would leave marks.

“I want to do the test again!” you said a bit too loudly, but you didn’t care. Your voice needed to be heard. “I want to become a Healer, just like my m-mother, so … please, let me try again!”

  
  


All three of the professors stared at you quietly, not even blinking an eye, and you immediately felt like that you shouldn’t have opened your mouth. When Dumbledore took off his glasses and cleaned the lenses with his sleeve, you prepared yourself to lose 100 house points for ... for something, you were sure the headmaster could come up with something wrong you just did. But as Dumbledore placed his half-moon - shaped glasses back on top of his nose, he greeted you with a warm smile.

“Well, I suppose we can make that happen”, he comforted you. A wave of relief took over you and pushed you back down on the chair.  “Since you said you hadn’t studied enough for N.E.W.T.s in the first place, I suggest you retake your seventh year. That should give you well enough time for you to study … and heal from your loss. How does that sound?” Dumbledore suggested, still smiling as warmly as a fireplace on a cold winter evening.

You couldn’t believe this offer that has been gifted to you. Sure, doing the whole year again would be annoying, but at least you got time to study for your N.E.W.T.s properly without too much rush. And to your luck, your best (and only) friend was a year younger than you, so you wouldn’t spend the year alone. This had to be a dream.

“That sounds amazing! Thank you, professor Dumbledore. Thank you!” you said, overwhelmed with joy.

Dumbledore raised his hand up a few inches to tell you to calm down. “But of course, your prank hasn’t been forgotten. Therefore, I’ll give you detention … for a whole year.”

Well, there came the catch. Of course Dumbledore had not forgotten to actually punish you. Your excitement died instantly.

Dumbledore rubbed his chin and hummed as he took a moment to think before turning his eyes over at one of the professors. “I suggest that every Friday you shall help professor Snape with whatever he needs help with. Despite teaching for over a year already, I’ve heard that the potions storeroom is still quite a mess.”

“You are correct”, Snape said, his low voice giving you chills. “So is my classroom. I’m still getting adjusted.”

Snape’s classroom always seemed to be a mess. He’s been teaching for a year already but every now and then some ingredient was missing, and quite often some student knocked something over. You secretly thought that professor had been just too lazy to properly clean his classroom. Or maybe Snape’s been waiting for a student to clean it up. Asshole.

“Well then”, Dumbledore clapped his hands together, “I think that’s settled then. After summer, Y/N shall spend detention with you once a week.”

Spending that much time with Severus Snape is definitely the worst kind of punishment there is. 

“Thank you, Dumbledore”, you said and slowly stood up, ready to leave, go to your common room and tell your best friend what had just happened, then start packing your things and get out of Hogwarts. Right now, you felt like you needed a break from school stuff.

“See you next year”, the headmaster said with a smile, and as he started working on his own things, you left his office with professor Snape and professor McGonagall following after you.

Once out of his office, professor McGonagall stopped you from rushing away and said something about ‘trying your best’ and ‘learning from your mistakes’, and lastly wishing you a happy summer break before she left. You sighed and turned around to leave, only to pump right into Snape.

“Oops, sorry”, you mumbled, taking a big step back. Snape glared at you for only a second, before he inhaled deeply and relaxed his face.

“Don’t think you got off easy this time, Y/N”, he reminded you, tying his hands behind his back. “Next year will be the hardest of your life, I promise you that.”

You knew that already, but you weren’t going to fight back. You were grateful that you could retake your N.E.W.T.s, but you also knew that the next school year was going to be full of studying and detention with stupid professor Snape. It was going to be horrible and exhausting, but you had already decided to not whine about it too much.

“Yes, sir”, you blurted out. You weren’t sure why you had called Snape ‘sir’ and not ‘professor’. Maybe you were afraid to get your ass kicked. You noticed Severus raising his eyebrows in surprise, and you swore the corner of his mouth lifted up a little, too, before going back down to his usual frown.

“Dismissed”, Severus growled, spun around so fast both his cape and hair floated around his form, and then he walked off quickly, the sound of his shoes clacking against the stone floor. You just stood there, watching him leave, and when Snape was surely gone, you finally dared to move.

You ran off to your common room and told your best friend, Avery, everything that had just happened. Your friend of course felt bad for you, but was also happy that you two would now graduate together - unless you fucked up again, somehow.

One more year at Hogwarts couldn’t be that bad, right?

Right?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh shit hello!! I'm so excited that I'm writing a second chapter on the same day I wrote the first one. Either I'm rushing, or then inspiration is just flowing through me. Anyway I hope you enjoy !

The summer of 1982 had been so hot that people kept their front doors open to let some cool air inside. You liked summer and the sun, but you hated sweating so much that it left dark stains on your shirt, so when the summer started to end and school was about to start, you actually felt thrilled to go back to Hogwarts. Maybe studying until you fall asleep could take your mind off things. 

The funeral had been hard to handle. And the days after the funeral were even harder because your stepmother did her best to cheer you up and be a replacement for your real mother. You had locked yourself away in your room, trying to learn how to paint because you somehow thought it would be therapeutic. But you couldn’t paint for shit, now could you? Now your room was messy, filled with dirty dishes and bad paintings. You were planning to trash them, or paint over them and make abstract art. That's something anyone can do.

Returning to Hogwarts made you almost jump with joy. Sitting in the train with your friend Avery, talking about what you did during summer was so much better than awkward dinners with a mourning family. Avery had traveled to Italy and spend their whole summer there. Avery's family was very wealthy so they traveled whenever they could. You felt a little jealous about it.

You kept your smile as you entered the Great Hall with your uniform, the colors of your house clean and bright, the fabric of your shirt soft and scented with flowery detergent. The ceiling was a night sky with candles floating with the stars, and as you sat down to watch the sorting ceremony, you felt as joyful as a first year seeing this much magic for the first time. It was great to be back at Hogwarts. It was healthy to have a schedule rather than lay in bed all day.

“Y/N, we’re gonna study hard together this year, promise?” Avery said, holding out their pinky. You did the same and curled your pinky around theirs.

“That’s a promise!” you laughed. “I have to study every night if I want to pass my N.E.W.T.s.”

“Don’t forget about your detention, or professor Snape is gonna double it”, Avery joked before turning their gaze onto their plate, picking out the most delicious food to eat. 

_‘Shit, I forgot about detention completely’_ , you thought to yourself and looked over at the table where the teachers were sitting.

Severus was taking a long sip of his drink, and he was the only teacher who wasn’t keeping up with the conversation. A loner, as he always had been. Or just different from the rest of the staff. When he lowered his golden cup, his eyes opened and met with yours. You jumped a little in surprise, but somehow couldn’t make yourself look away. Something was off. Severus wasn’t glaring at you, nor was he frowning, nor did he look like he was about to take points from your house. No. Severus was simply watching you, not with hate or disgust, but with … curiosity, perhaps. You had never been good at reading people which ended up in a lot of misunderstandings. But you swore that Severus was looking at you like he was trying to communicate.

“Psst! Hey, Y/N!”

You turned around to look at the long table behind you where another student from a different house was sitting. She was the same age as Avery and had long curly hair that reached her lower back. You had never talked to her before, but you knew her name was Kelly because she played beater in her Quidditch team. And she was actually really good, you couldn’t lie. But she was also known for being a little full of herself.

“Is it true you’re repeating the year because you were so stupid?” Kelly mocked you, her friends giggling with her by the table.

“I’m not stupid!” you defended yourself, ready to get up from your seat and punch Kelly. Fuck her. You already despised her and her _‘I’m better than anyone else’_ \- attitude.

“Sure, sure”, Kelly grinned. “Have fun in detention, dork.”

Your hand turned into a fist, but before you could do anything, Avery grabbed onto your shoulder and forged you to turn your back on Kelly. “Just ignore her. She’s always picking on others”, Avery said like they had experience about it.

“Sorry”, you apologized.

“You don’t gotta apologize”, Avery promised you. But you still felt like you had to. You looked down at your hand, still folded into a fist. Since when had you been so angry that you were ready to start a fight?

You looked back at the teacher’s table.

Snape was still watching you.

  
  


\--

  
  


“Are you sure you’re gonna be okay?”

“I promise you, I’ll be fine. Besides, I don’t think I can bring my friend over to detention. Snape would get mad.”

“Still … Some students have said that Snape is really scary during detention.”

Honestly, if professor Snape would use the Cruciatus Curse to punish you, it wouldn’t surprise you one bit. He was considered scary by literally every student for a reason. He took points away from simple mistakes, was unfriendly to everyone and just had a displeasing aura. Nobody really liked him, not even most of Slytherins. That's how bad professor Severus Snape was. Some people even said he was a Death Eater. A few said he was you-know-who in disguise. But all of that was nonsense. Severus was just the teacher in every school that wasn't as nice as the others.

Still, you surprisingly didn’t feel that scared to go to detention. Maybe you would just do homework, or something else easy. It was your first detention, after all. Maybe Snape would go easy on you.

You stopped in front of the Potions classroom, swallowing as you stared at the wooden door. All the classes were over. Everyone else was enjoying their free time and you were stuck here.  “Well, no turning back now”, you said quietly and knocked on the door.

And the second your knuckles pressed against the door, Avery jumped away from the door to hide behind the corner. 

“You were supposed to accompany me!” you pouted.

“I said I’d come with you down here to make sure you wouldn’t get lost. I said nothing about actually joining you”, Avery said, grinning at you. Of course they didn’t want to see Snape. Avery’s boggart used to be Snape, after all. They weren’t even sure why they had feared him so much before - According to your memory, professor Snape had never bothered Avery in any way. But seeing Avery's boggart take the form of professor Snape had been hilarious, especially when Avery had turned him into a mime.

“You traitor!” you laughed, feeling grateful that you were relaxed enough to have a little fun before detention.  But the second you heard the door open, your smile disappeared. The door opened so quickly it scared you, and there was professor Snape, looking down at you like he had caught you doing something against the rules.

“I’m surprised you even bothered to turn up”, he said. He then stepped towards you and closed the classroom door behind him. For a few seconds he was way too close to you, so close you could feel him breathe out and blow your hair around, but then he stepped away and started walking. “Follow me.”

“You gonna take me to the dungeons?” you asked sarcastically. Snape turned around in his heels and glared at you, which was all he had to do to make you apologize and follow after him quietly.

You peeked over your shoulder at Avery who was sticking out their tongue at you. In return, you mouthed something about jinxing them later.

Professor Snape was quiet all the way to the potions storeroom. He pulled out an old key from his pocket, unlocked the door and opened it to reveal what was behind it. You peeked inside and gasped. The storage room was tiny with shelves on your left and right, starting from the ground and reaching up to the roof. There was dust all over the place, a few spiderwebs here and there, and multiple bottles were scattered around in a messy order. A wooden ladder was in front of the door, blocking your way in. A weird odor reached your nose, its origins unknown.

“Start cleaning”, Severus ordered, stepping away from the door. He placed his hand against your back and gently pushed you in, even if the damn ladder knocked against your legs.

“Are you for real? This is going to take forever!” you protested. 

Snape raised his other eyebrow at you. “That is not my problem.” He then turned around and started walking back the way you two came from, most likely returning back to his classroom.

You stepped out of the storage room and just stared at the mess in front of you. _Sigh_. You didn’t even know where to start! A part of you just wanted to run off and deal with this some other day. But that would only cause more trouble. Snape would murder you if you ditched on him.

So, you took out your wand, took a moment to memorize all the cleaning spells you had learned during the years, and then stepped inside the storeroom. 

You can do this.

\--

Three hours pass and somehow, you’re still alive.

The potions storeroom had never looked better. All the dust had been wiped off, the spiders had been taken outside, and all the bottles and potions had been arranged to a better order. Well, Snape will probably organize them to his liking in the future because you put them in alphabetical order, but at least it’s done. Only a few bottles were left, and you were done for the day. Your body was already so tired that you could sleep curled up on the floor if you had to.

The last thing you had to put on the top shelf was a small box filled with small vials with labels on them. As you climbed up the ladder and put the box on the shelf, one vial caught your eye. You couldn’t help but grab it and pull it out.  The label had ‘Felix Felicis’ written on it. First, the name was unfamiliar, but suddenly you remembered Snape mentioning this potion last year. It was … liquid luck. A potion that was extremely difficult to make, and even considered dangerous to consume. It was against the rules to drink it before any competitions, obviously. And, if 'liquid luck' didn't make it obvious, it made you lucky and made things turn out the way you wanted them to.

Still holding onto the vial, you climbed down the ladder, still inspecting the potion you had found. The vial was so small … Snape wouldn’t notice if you took it, right? I mean, who would notice? You could just take it, drink it before your N.E.W.T.s and get a perfect score on the test! And then you wouldn’t have to study. And --

“All done, I see?”

As you spun around, you moved your hands behind your back, hiding the Felix Felicis. Severus was standing by the door, looking around the storage room with a surprised, but pleased expression. You have never seen him look that happy about anything. That must have meant that he was proud of you ... or just happy someone had cleaned up since he obviously had been avoiding it.

“Y-yes”, you stuttered. “Sorry it took so long.”

“Don’t apologize”, Severus said and stepped inside the storage room, making you take a step back, only to knock your legs once again against the ladder. It hurt, but while cleaning you had bumped your legs so many times that you were numb to the pain by now. You quietly watched as professor Snape looked around, every now and then nodding, then squinting his eyes, then nodding again. “It only means that you took your time with the given job. It’s admirable.”

When you felt your cheeks turn a little warm, you thought you were going insane. Did professor Snape just compliment you? And did you really just get flustered about it? 

“T-thank you”, you managed to mumble out. Your fingers kept playing with the vial nervously, and you knew that you had to get out before Snape would notice that you had something that didn’t belong to you. “I guess I s-should go n-now …”

Before you could even take a step, Severus closed the door, locking the two of you inside the small potions storeroom. You immediately knew he had caught you, but right now your mind was wandering to other places. For example, this storage room could barely fit the two of you in here. And Snape was too close for your comfort.

“Do you take me as a fool, Y/N?” Severus asked in a low tone as he leaned closer to you. Your reflexes made you back away, but since there was no room for you to move, you only managed to press your back against the ladder. The wooden steps of it pressed against your back like knives.

“N-no, sir”, you mumbled, unable to look at the professor. He obviously seemed displeased about you avoiding his eyes, so Severus grabbed onto one of the steps of the ladder a little above your head, and he leaned his head down to meet your wide-eyed gaze. He was so close you could feel his breath brush against your face, like it was a warning.

“Then don’t. Play. With me”, he said, each word rolling off his tongue like a spell … no, a curse. His dark eyes were glaring into yours so hard that you soon got lost in them. But as you stayed quiet for far too long, Severus lowered his gaze and looked down at your body ... No, his eyes followed your arm that was hiding behind your back. He had noticed you were hiding something. And he was patiently waiting for you to show what you had.

Your hand was shaking as you moved it over to Severus, offering the vial back to him. His free hand moved to grab it, rolling it around his fingers to check what it was. “Felix Felicis. You were planning to drink this before taking your N.E.W.T.s, am I correct?” Severus asked, raising an eyebrow at you.

You couldn’t bring yourself to even speak, so you just nodded, holding your breath.

“You do know that it would be cheating, Y/N?” Severus asked.

You nodded again, closing your eyes tightly.

“And you know that Felix Felicis is extremely dangerous when consumed too much, because it can make the drinker so reckless they put themselves in danger?” Severus asked yet another question. 

“N-no”, you said, shaking your head. You didn’t know that. Obviously, you haven’t been listening during lessons. “I’m sorry.”

You didn’t know what else to say expect an apology, but you could tell what was coming. More detention, or more house points to lose. And this was only your first detention with professor Snape.

For a moment, it was quiet. You didn’t dare to say anything so you just waited for Severus to say something. But instead of saying anything, Severus simply tiptoed a little to place the vial somewhere high on the shelf where he could find it later. As he was reaching up, his body accidentally leaned closer to you.

Your heart skipped a beat.

You weren’t sure why being that close to your teacher made you feel so weak in the knees.

“I suppose I can overlook this”, Severus said quietly, lowering his arm and returning his gaze over to you. His brows furrowed a little, and your heart skipped another beat because you thought he was still going to punish you somehow, until you followed Snape’s arm that moved up to his own cheek, pointing at it.

“You have a little something on your cheek”, he said.

“Oh.”

You quickly moved your hand over to your cheek and rubbed it, trying to get rid of whatever dirt had stuck against your skin. You prayed the stain was small and not the size of a fist.  “No, the other … Let me”, Severus sighed out. You froze completely as you watched Severus slowly lick his thumb, then gently press his thumb against your other cheek and wipe off the dirt. He then grabbed onto his sleeve and used it to wipe over the spot again, drying it from his saliva. “There.”

You couldn’t even breathe right now. You couldn’t even think. You just stood there, staring up at Severus who was still far too close to you, and who was constantly talking in a low, deep voice, mouthing words quietly like he didn’t want anyone to hear them. Your heart was racing so hard you could feel the rhythm in your throat, and at this point even your legs were trembling. Severus looked down, then back up. If he was a student with too much confidence, he probably would have leaned in to kiss you. But he didn't. As you inhaled strongly, professor Snape finally turned around, opened the door and stepped out.

“Your duties are done for today. I’m expecting to see you at detention next week. Same day, same time”, Severus said, holding the door open while you stepped out, then closing it, locking it, and waving his wand to cast a spell on the door so students couldn’t break in. He then turned to look at you and said firmly: “Do not be late.”

You nodded strongly before quickly walking away, and the second you had turned around the corner, you started running, even if you were already out of breath. You ran as fast as you could over to your common room, where Avery was studying by themselves. Gasping for air, you sat down on the couch next to them, too exhausted to talk.

“Finally, you’re back! I was already thinking that he had killed you”, Avery said, half-joking and half-worried.

“He … he almost did kill me”, you panted out. “Or at least … that’s what it felt like.”

“I’m not sure if I even want to know what happened. But I can tell he was just awful”, Avery said, opening their book again and continuing to read.

“Yeah … Awful”, you mumbled quietly. When you had finally caught your breath, your hand automatically moved to caress the cheek Severus had touched.

Huh.

You thought Severus hadn’t been awful at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A question for the future of the fanfiction - Are you guys interested in having a NSFW scene at some point? Let me know down in the comments!


	3. Chapter 3

You were wrong when you thought Snape wasn’t as awful as people said he was.

Now, having detention once a week wasn’t really that bad. It was almost the same as cleaning your room once a week because your parents told you to. But Snape wasn’t the kind of professor who would just make you sit still for a few hours as punishment. He made you do actual work. Work that made your body tired and sweaty, your muscles aching so much that you'd rather be expelled than keep this going.

The first month of detention was hell. Even if you had cleaned the potions storeroom perfectly, professor Snape made you clean it again. And then again. And for the fourth time, too. He didn’t care when you insisted that the storage room was really clean already and you could do something else instead. He always said, _‘A lot of dust can appear behind the bottles during a week’_ , which you didn’t believe. 

The third time he had forced you to clean that stupid storage room, you hadn’t done it, but instead spend your time studying. But when professor Snape had come to check on you, he knew you hadn’t cleaned at all.

Professor Snape had placed a single peanut behind one potion, and when he found the peanut in the same place where he had put it, he knew that the work hadn’t been done properly. What an …

You sighed. It could be a lot worse. Filch has always talked about how Hogwarts used to punish students by hanging them by their fingers from the ceiling. _‘Oh, their screams were music’,_ Filch had said to you when you were a second year. So, cleaning a small storage room over and over again was better than literal torture. But hell, it was still annoying!

Only a day before your fifth detention, you had potions class. At this point, it felt like your life revolved around professor Snape. He was just … everywhere. It felt like that he was everywhere you went, but you did your best to ignore him and just focus on your studies and spending time with Avery. Still, you couldn't deny it - professor Severus Snape had become a part of your life. As you took a seat in the potions classroom, you almost felt like you were just visiting a friend, which was a really, really odd feeling.

“Silence”, professor Snape snarled at the beginning of the class, as he always did. It worked like a charm to get everyone quiet. “Today we’ll be making Regermination potion, because professor Sprout has ran out of it. Now, can anyone tell me what Regermination potion is?”

You raised your hand because you knew the answer well. I mean, you’re repeating a year, after all. Severus noticed you holding your hand up, but then looked elsewhere like he was waiting for somebody else to know the answer. But since no one else raised their hand, Severus had to let you answer.

“Yes, Y/N?”

“The Regermination potion is a potion that forces a plant to germinate”, you said.

“And what does ‘germinate’ mean?” Severus asked, taking a step closer to the table you were sitting by, his hands tied behind his back. 

“For the seed to grow into a plant”, you answered.

“Correct”, Severus said and turned around, his long cape flapping like a bird’s wing after him. “Just three drops of this potion can revive any dead plant or flower. Or a Flitterbloom. Do you know what that is, Y/N?”

Now professor Snape was just testing you. You tried to remember what a Flitterbloom was, but all you could think of was a flower that blooms, and you felt like that wasn’t the right answer. So, you shook your head. To that, Severus gave you a disappointed glare before explaining that a Flitterbloom was a plant with swaying tentacles, and how it was something you learned in fourth year. His voice got a little louder as he told you it was something you should have known. You rolled your eyes, feeling a little annoyed. But at least Severus didn’t take points away from you for not knowing the answer.

After Severus Snape had explained to everyone what you needed for this lesson, he rushed the students to start making the potion, and soon everyone was working by their cauldron, mixing ingredients in to turn the potion green. As you worked on your potion, you started to remember how you did it last year and felt like this was going to be very easy. Luckily potions was a subject you were quite good at.

“How are you holding up?” you asked your friend Avery who had their sleeves rolled up and their hair standing to every direction.

“Bad. Just bad”, they laughed. “I’m never going to enjoy potions class.”

You didn’t dare to ask if their dislike for potions was because of professor Snape or just because they weren’t too good at it. You’d probably ask that later when Snape wasn’t close enough to hear.

“Let me see”, you said and moved to stand by your friend, checking how they were doing with their potion. As expected, Avery was a little lost, adding something a bit too much and not stirring it hard enough. Their potion was the wrong color - It was supposed to be green, but Avery's potion had a dark green shade. You immediately started helping them out so they could get a good grade.

But from the corner of your eye, you noticed someone walk by your cauldron, drop something in it and then walk off. You quickly jumped back to your place, staring down at your cauldron and then looking around the classroom, noticing how Kelly just sat down to her own seat, smirking at you.

“What the --?”

And suddenly, your potion was turning into a very dark shade of blue with large bubbles appearing at the top and exploding. Before you could even properly react, the cauldron tilted back and the potion started foaming so fast that the soap-like substance started to cover the floor. Everyone started screaming and quickly took their things and left the classroom. When you realized that this was all your fault -- Wait, no! That stupid girl Kelly put something in your potion to make it turn the classroom into a damn soap bath. This wasn’t your fault. And that’s why it wasn’t your problem to deal with.

But of course your luck was never on your side, because you were the last one to leave the class. And right before you reached the door, professor Snape waved his wand and the door closed shut right in front of you. You grabbed onto the doorknob and twisted it and pushed your whole body against the door, but it wouldn't budge.

“And where do you think you’re going?” his deep voice echoed through the room over to your ears, forcing you to stop trying to open the door.

“Nowhere, I guess”, you mumbled, turning around and pressing your back against the door. By now, the whole classroom was covered in bubbles that reached your knees, making the place look like a swimming pool. With an annoyed look, professor Snape rushed over to your cauldron, pushed it back up to its legs and then waved his wand to block the opening. The cauldron shook for a few seconds before becoming still, and that’s when you knew that the potion would no longer create bubbles.

“You’ll be helping me clean this mess, Y/N”, the professor growled, staring at you. 

“Does this count as detention?” you dared to ask as you pulled out your wand and walked closer to your professor. But moving was almost impossible when you couldn’t see where you were walking. Too many bubbles. Each step you took was careful and calculated, just so you wouldn't accidentally slip and break your leg.

“Obviously not”, Severus said and waved his wand. Even with magic, cleaning wasn’t an easy task. You watched your potions professor lift a ball of foam up to the ceiling, then make it spin until it turned into water, and then you watched it pour down onto the large cauldron that Snape had. 

“You making a mess of my classroom doesn’t free you from tomorrow’s detention. It adds to it”, he continued, waving his wand to get another ball of soap and turn it into water.

“Oh c’mon!” you whined.

“I’ll add an hour to your detention for that”, Severus glared at you. “Get to work.”

You took a deep breath. Nothing seemed to go right when you were around Severus, the teacher who would twist your neck if he was allowed to. You decided to save your frustration for later and just focus on cleaning now. You didn’t like the wet feeling against your legs, but at least the smell was pleasant. A small victory in this chaos. You took out your wand and watched what professor Snape was doing, before starting to mimic his movements. You waved your wand and managed to pull up a ball of soap, but as you tried to make it spin, the ball only grew larger, the bubbles grew bigger, and water started to drip down from it, making it look like a rain cloud.

“No, no, no! Not like that”, professor Snape growled and stomped towards you … Well, he didn’t stomp because you couldn’t hear his feet touch the floor thanks to this foaming. Snape slowly pushed his legs through the thick soap over to you and he moved to stand behind you. You immediately froze.

“Keep your arm straighter. Only move your wrist”, he said in a low tune, his mouth right by your ear. Severus placed his left hand by your hip, while his right arm followed yours and grabbed you gently by the wrist. He helped you move your wrist in a circle-like motion, and you watched how the ball of bubbles now turned smaller and smaller until it was only a ball of water. Then, Severus guided your hand once more, helping you move the water into the large cauldron, and drop it inside.

“Do it fast, and don’t. Linger”, professor Snape said slowly, his voice almost a whisper by your ear expect for the last word that came out more as a deep growl, and then he removed his hands from you and returned to clean the place up like he hadn’t just invaded your personal space.

You didn’t mind, really. 

Your legs felt weak again.

“Professor, I … I didn’t do this on purpose”, you said, waving your wand the way Snape had just showed you, now knowing properly how to clean off all this soap. “I was doing just fine with my potion, but I … I think somebody put something in it to make it foam this much.”

“I know”, Severus said, turning a large amount of soap into water and dropping it into the cauldron.

“You knew?” you repeated.

“I have an idea what could have turned your potion into a bath bomb … But, do you have an idea on who did this?” 

“... I think it was Kelly, sir”, you confessed, although you couldn’t be sure. You didn’t see the moment she dropped something onto your cauldron. You only saw that she had left her seat, and the way she had been grinning at you made you believe she was behind it. But once again, it could have been anyone. You secretly hoped it was Kelly just so she would be punished.

“I’m not surprised”, Severus sighed. “Not the first time she’s being uncomfortably annoying towards her classmates. I’ll make sure to take points away from her house.”

"... Thank you, professor", you said quietly and continued cleaning. You weren't expecting to have Severus defend you like that. Had he seen Kelly do it? Or did he just believe your word?

When half of the classroom was cleaned and you could see the floor, you started to think about what Severus had said earlier - That this didn’t count as detention, and tomorrow you would be back to cleaning the potions storeroom once again because Severus didn’t know what else to do with you. You felt like a burden. Maybe, just maybe, you could suggest something else to do during the detention if professor Snape couldn’t come up with anything.

“Professor?” you asked carefully, holding onto your wand so tightly your palm turned red. A few seconds later, you heard professor Snape release a single deep-sounding hum as an answer. You took a deep breath before stating: “I don’t want to clean the same stupid storage room over and over again.”

Professor Snape stopped in his tracks and turned to look at you with a slightly surprised look painted over his face. “Then what do you wish to do during your detention?” he asked, his voice low and almost threatening.

You swallowed again. “I could clean this classroom. And once I’m finished cleaning, I could study.”

Severus raised his eyebrows, and for only a second his lips parted and his tongue quickly stroked over the bottom lip. “Fine”, he said, then turned his back on you and continued making his classroom clean.

You quickly did a small victory dance before continuing your tasks, waving your wand, lifting a ball of bubbles up in the air and making it spin. You congratulated yourself for standing your ground and being so brave against one of the most strict teachers at Hogwarts! You felt like you could do anything right now.

But of course destiny decided to make you act clumsy at the worst possible moments. As you were too much in your own thoughts, you accidentally waved your wand wrong and the ball of soap bubbles suddenly flew towards the cauldron … and then hit professor Snape on the cheek as he was passing by it. You covered your mouth in surprise as the bubbles hit the professor’s face, then exploded all over the place and disappeared into thin air, a memory of the bubbles dropping down onto the floor as a few drops of water. 

“Oh my God”, you whimpered, unable to make a run for it. Professor Snape shook his head a little before turning his eyes at you. If looks could kill, you’d be already in your grave.

“I’m so sorry”, you tried to explain yourself. “I w-wasn’t paying attention. It was j-just an accident, I swear -- !”

Suddenly you saw a ball rise from the soap sea, perfectly round like a snowball, and then you watched as it flew towards you and hit you right in the face. For only a half of a second, all you could smell was a nice flowery scent that felt uncomfortable in your nostrils. Then, the bubbles that had hit your face exploded and turned into water, wetting you a little as they dropped down. Some of your hair turned sticky against your skin, and you could feel your shirt turn a little wet, too.

You looked back up at Severus who smirked - yes, smirked - at you before waving his wand again and throwing another ball of soap at you. 

“Hey!” you yelped out as soap blasted against your stomach. Ouch - How did a water-like substance feel as painful as a bullet when it hit you?

“You’re stalling. Get back to work, or I’ll make you clean this mess without magic”, professor Snape warned you, but you could tell that he didn’t actually mean it. Or maybe he did. The point was that his voice was a lot softer than it usually was. It sounded like he was almost playing with you.

If you had the guts for it, you’d throw more soap at Snape and challenge him into a snowball fight … erm, soap foam fight. But you weren’t going to risk ruining Snape’s good mood. So, you stayed quiet and helped him clean the classroom, just so you could stay on his good side.

At least it smelled really nice in here.


	4. Chapter 4

You had first thought that this year was going to pass extremely slowly. But as you sat in the Great Hall, eating until your stomach was full during the All Hallows’ Eve feast, you realized that time was merely a concept that passed by you when you weren’t paying attention.

Honestly, you loved Hallowe’en. You loved the floating pumpkin heads around Hogwarts, you loved the bats that flew way too close to your face and you loved pranks. Now, Hallowe’en wasn’t really a prank-themed holiday, but people loved scaring each other. Even muggles dressed up and jumped out from behind corners to spook their friends. So, when you and Avery finally made it to Hogsmeade, the first thing you wanted to do was to come up with a way to scare other students. And what better place to start looking for a prank idea than Zonko’s Joke Shop?

You loved Zonko’s, even if a ‘prankster’ wasn’t a personality trait of yours. Maybe you just enjoyed the colorful walls and the merchandise that was so silly that it made you think, _‘who even needs something like this’?_ Maybe you liked Zonko’s because it reminded you of that one muggle toy store your mom had taken you to. 

Ah, you’re thinking about your mom again. You shake your head a little. _‘Think of something else’_ , you told yourself. You didn’t want to start crying in public.

But it was difficult to get back to that cheerful mood after mom had entered your thoughts. Mom loved autumn, and she loved Halloween. Great, now all you could think of was how this was your first Halloween without mom. Now a thought like that would make anyone depressed. So now that you were moody, you quietly followed Avery like a lost puppy, only talking when absolutely necessary. _‘Just breathe’_ , you told yourself over and over again. If something just happened, you’d forget about your deceased mom and smile again.

“Get out of here, Y/N”, a Hogwarts student said to you from a few feet away. “Your last prank was enough.”

Your wishes never came true the way you wished them to.

You didn’t know who that student even was. You didn’t recognize their face, their voice, nothing. But they had recognized you. You quietly watched as the student walked past you with a glare on their face, pumping their shoulder against you on purpose before leaving the shop. 

Ah. 

So people were still pissed off about last year’s prank.

“I thought people had forgotten about it, already”, you muttered, turning over to your friend who looked worried about you.

“Some have, but … Well, some keep bringing it up just so they have a reason to bully you”, Avery explained.

“You seem to know more than I do”, you raised your eyebrows. 

Avery swallowed and furrowed their eyebrows, which meant that whatever they were going to say, it was something they had kept a secret. “I heard Kelly’s been spreading rumors about you.”

“What rumors?”

“I don’t know. Just rumors”, Avery mumbled, putting some joke product back on the shelf. “Some have said that you’re going to do another prank at the end of the year. Something big.”

You rolled your eyes. “That makes me feel so much better”, you said, turning around and storming out of the store. The fresh snow cracked underneath your shoes, snowflakes dropping down onto your head. You liked winter and snow, but you weren’t expecting it to snow this soon. You didn't even have a scarf with you. Maybe you should just head back to Hogwarts before it gets unbearably cold.

“Y/N!” Avery ran after you, grabbing you by your arm to stop you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“No, it’s fine. It’s fine. I just wanna get back to Hogwarts”, you said, breaking free from Avery’s tight grip. You weren’t sure why you were so pissed off suddenly. You didn’t usually care what others thought about you, as long as they kept it to themselves. Maybe today was just a bad day. And the snow falling on you wasn’t making it any better. You were not excited to start putting on layers and layers of clothing just so you wouldn’t freeze to death.

“Is it okay if I stay? I have some shopping to do”, Avery said quietly. Avery had mentioned how they wished to buy some sweets, and needed to buy a new book to read after classes. You had no idea how Avery felt confident enough to start reading story books when they should be studying for their N.E.W.T.s.

“Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll see you later!” you said, forcing a smile. That was all you had to do to make Avery believe that you were fine. Avery turned around and started walking to the opposite direction, while you stormed off towards Hogwarts. 

As the strong wind blew onto your face, you could tell that it was going to snow a lot today. But just like last year, you bet that the ground would be covered in snow for a few days before it melts away, and then it would snow again later. Still, you weren’t too excited seeing snow cover the whole school. It would be cold all the time and --  **B L A M !**

You couldn’t believe it. Somebody had just thrown a snowball at you, and it hit the back of your head. You yelped as you felt snow drip down your neck and slide underneath your shirt. It was so, so cold that your body shook. This day could not get any worse. 

“Hey!” you shouted, turning around to see a young student, maybe a second year, laughing at you with their friend. But as the student noticed you were glaring at them, he and his friend suddenly looked surprised, maybe even scared.

“Sorry!” the other boy shouted at you. Then, he whispered something to his friend before walking towards you. “I swear it was an accident.”

“Yeah, you better wish it was an accident”, you muttered. Your anxiety was through the roof by now. Was it really an accident, or did everyone at Hogwarts hate you for what you did? No, you must be overthinking it right now. God, maybe Avery should have kept their mouth shut. You'd rather be ignorant in bliss.

The boy who had thrown the snowball emptied his pockets and pulled out a lollipop that was neon green and offered it to you. “Don’t jinx me, okay?” he said with a smile on his face like he wasn’t actually afraid of you jinxing him. Still, you felt bad for shouting at a second year. Hesitantly you took the lollipop, pulled off the wrapper, thanked the kid and then put it in your mouth.

It tasted sour. Very, very sour.

“It’s an acid pop”, the other boy said, snickering. “Kelly told us you like them.”

Fucking Kelly.

You shrieked in pain and spat out the lollipop. Your tongue, no, your whole mouth was burning! You gagged and held out your tongue, wondering if eating snow would ease the pain. But as you grabbed onto your tongue, you could feel your finger go through it …

The acid pop had burned a hole into your tongue.

_ Oh my fucking _ God.

The two second years were laughing their ass off, and you wished you could jinx them now, or at least use a spell to heal your tongue and _then_ beat those kids up. But as you cursed like a sailor to ease the pain, you realized that talking with a hole in your tongue made it impossible to pronounce any words right. You sounded like a damn baby trying to speak for the first time.

You needed to see a healer. Now.

You ran all the way to Hogwarts, even if the fresh snow was slippery beneath your feet and your tongue burned so bad that it made your whole body want to squirm. Every breath you took felt like agony, no matter if you were inhaling through your nostrils or gasping with your mouth. You were too exhausted to cry, but your eyes were watery as you ran for your life. It hurt so damn much.

When you finally reached Hogwarts, you were completely out of breath. Your legs felt shaky and weak, your heart was thumping against your chest louder than a drum, and tears were running down your cheeks, making the skin red and sensitive. You felt like collapsing onto the floor, but you forced yourself to keep going just so you would be relieved from this agony.  You stormed inside through the oak doors into the Entrance hall and turned right, only to bump into someone so hard you fell down on your bottom. You whimpered in pain, your hand still covering your mouth as you were trying to hide your tongue.

“Y/N? What are you doing, running around with your eyes closed?” professor Snape spat at you. Of course you had to bump into him of all people. You’d rather step on Dumbledore’s beard rather than constantly fuck up around professor Snape.

But then, Severus Snape’s expression softened and he knelt down in front of you, grabbing you by your arm and helping you up on your feet. “What’s wrong?” he asked. You wiped your tears away and looked up at him, but you couldn’t make yourself speak. The last time you talked, it sounded like a baby was just laughing out random noises. So you kept your hand over your mouth and used the other hand to point at it.

“Something about your mouth?” Snape raised an eyebrow.

You nodded strongly.

“And does it hurt?”

You nodded again, trying to hold back tears.

Professor Snape looked around first, before he told you to come with him. He placed his hand on your upper back and started walking next to you, instead of stomping in front of you, guiding you forward. And that’s when you knew that he wasn’t going to take you to the Hospital wing, but was going to treat you himself.

That made you feel safe. 

  
  


\--

After pushing you inside the potions classroom, Severus locked the door behind you and escorted you to the nearest empty chair, helping you sit down like you were an elderly. He then asked you to explain what was the problem with your mouth. Of course you couldn’t tell him so you showed him. Slowly you parted your lips and pushed out your tongue to show Snape the damage. His large hand moved to cup your cheek while the other one grabbed you by your chin, making you open your mouth wider.

“That does look quite painful … An acid pop?” he estimated.

“Uh-huh”, you managed to say, still holding your tongue out. Ugh, you could feel that there was a hole in your tongue, and just the thought of it was so gross it made your toes curl and stomach turn into a knot. You closed your eyes tightly as to try not to think about it.

Professor Snape pulled out his wand and pointed it at your tongue, then quietly said the spell ‘Episkey’ that quickly healed your tongue back to normal, flesh appearing out of nowhere to make the hole disappear. When Severus lowered his hand and took a step away from you, you closed your mouth and pressed your tongue against the roof of your mouth. No hole. Your tongue was back to normal! It was like all that pain and agony had never happened.

“T-thank you, professor Snape”, you said, relieved, still every now and then pressing your tongue flat against the roof of your mouth to check it was completely healed. “I couldn’t say the spell myself … for obvious reasons.”

“I’m glad you didn’t try to fix it yourself. Any spell can be deadly if pronounced wrong”, Snape told you, putting his wand back into his pocket, then pulling out a chair for him to sit on. He pressed his elbows against his knees and locked his fingers together, his eyes glued onto you like he was a therapist waiting to give you the right kind of advice. “Did you know you were eating an acid pop?”

“No”, you told him. “It was given to me as a prank. Feels like the whole school is against me.”

“And what makes you think that?” Severus asked you.

“Isn’t it obvious?” you almost shouted. Even if it didn't hurt anymore, you still felt like crying. You still felt frustrated and angry and pissed off. You tapped your foot against the floor in a quick beat in an attempt to calm down, but with no success. Your chest already hurt, your heart was racing, and you felt like you were choking on air.

“People are still pissed about last year. I get it, I ruined everyone’s day! I … I fucked up”, you cursed. You moved your hand to press against your throat as you gasped for air. Suddenly it felt like you were underwater, fighting for your life.

“I guess I’m just easy to bully because I’m a loser with a dead mom doing my last year again, because --- because I can’t -- can’t do anything”, you cried out. At this point you were dry heaving, choking and gasping through your tears, clenching your hand into a tight fist as an attempt to get some control of this … But you couldn’t calm down. You cried out again as you tried to remember what you did last time to stop a panic attack, but could only remember your mother’s funeral.

You wished mom was still here.

“I can’t breathe”, you gasped out.

Professor Snape quickly stood up and walked up to one of the shelves where he had different kinds of potions lying around. He knelt down, searched for a few seconds before grabbing onto a small bottle and bringing it over to you. “Drink this”, he said, offering you the bottle. Your hand tried to reach for it, but it was shaking so much that you were sure you would drop the potion, so you pulled your hand back.

“I can’t”, you panted out.

“Yes, you can”, Severus insisted. He pulled his chair closer to you so he could sit down right in front of you. Then, his hand that felt as cold as the fresh snow outside touched your cheek, his thumb stroking side to side to wipe away the tears. 

“Tilt your head back”, his deep voice barely reached your ears, but you did as you were told. You tilted your head back a little, keeping your eyes tightly closed. A hiccup escaped past your lips. Jesus, you’ve never cried this hard. Were you crying this much because someone was watching you?

“Open your mouth”, Severus whispered. You felt the opening of the bottle press against your bottom lip, so you opened your mouth and felt liquid slowly drip down your throat. You swallowed, then choked a little and pulled back.

“That’s it”, Severus encouraged you. His hand moved from your cheek to the back of your head where he took a strong hold of you to keep you still. “Just a little more.”

You drank more of the potion, and the more you swallowed down, the calmer you felt. Suddenly your heart was no longer pounding, breathing wasn’t such a task anymore, and no more tears came out, not even if you tried. When Severus pulled back, you swallowed last of the potion before taking a deep breath. You felt calm.

“Draught of peace”, Severus said, shaking the half-empty bottle in his hand before closing the gap and pocketing it. “Should come in handy if you’re panicking like that again.”

You pressed your hand against your chest and took a few deep breaths. It felt extremely good to be this calm after being attacked by such a mess of emotions. “I’ve never been this anxious before”, you confessed. You’ve had a good, peaceful, easy life so far … Until your mother passed away and your mind went to places it shouldn’t. Oh, and since you did that stupid prank last year, some students have decided to keep reminding you about your past mistakes.

“I assume then that something is bothering you”, Snape said, pulling his chair back a little in order to give you some space to breathe.

“Just this one student has decided to start picking on me … And now other students have joined her. I guess I’m just easy to make fun of”, you explained. Maybe you were an easy target - You weren’t too good at defending yourself. You never had to.

“You could learn a hex to get rid of those bullies”, professor Snape said casually. “For example … Bat-Bogey Hex. That’s a nasty one. You know the incantation for that one, right?”

You did know that spell, but you couldn’t believe that professor Snape was actually giving you advice on how to be more of a pain in the ass. “Yeah, but I’ve never done it”, you confessed.

“Then, during detention, I shall teach you that spell”, Severus said, lifting his eyebrows higher. “I’ll also teach you how to make draught of peace, if you can handle it. It’s quite … difficult to make.”

You stood up slowly, watching how Severus stood up with you like he was mimicking your movements. Or maybe he just wished to be polite. You looked him up and down, only now realizing how tall he was compared to you. “Why should I learn how to make draught of peace when I can just come to you?” you asked.

Snape raised a questioning eyebrow at you, then snickered. “You really enjoy it when I take care of you, don’t you?”

You really did. You would never admit it, but when professor Snape had been caring for you like a loved one, you had only focused on how his touches had felt like. You just knew that for the next few weeks, you'd be reliving this moment over and over again.

Something about professor Snape was oddly charming to you. Yes, he was one of the most cruel teachers at Hogwarts, but you had learned to like his strictness. Maybe you liked seeing such a mean teacher act like ... a normal person around you. If Severus out of all people could act like such a softie around you, it must have meant that you were special.

_‘Special’_.

That word made you all giggly for some reason. 

“Maybe I do. Maybe I don’t. You’ll never know”, you said with a confident smile.

You flinched a little when Severus raised his arm quickly, but when you noticed his movements slow down, you realized that he wasn’t going to slap you for being so cocky. Instead, his hand moved on top of your head. He first just held it there, and you swore you could feel his thumb move side to side as to caress you, but then Severus pressed his hand down harder and messed up your hair.

“Get out, now. I have work to do”, Severus said, moved his hand from your head down to your upper back where he gently pushed you towards the door. You waved him goodbye and quickly ran out of the classroom.

As you were walking towards your common room, you pressed your hand against your chest again.

Ah.

Your heart was racing again, but in a good way.


	5. Chapter 5

“Volatilis Lutum!”

When you had finally learned to cast the Bat-Bogey hex, you couldn’t wait for an opportunity to use it. Somewhere during December, Kelly had said something mean to you when she had passed you in the hallway, and in return, you had taken out your wand and cast a spell on her. Seeing a bat-shaped snot fly out of her nose was priceless, especially when there were other students watching. Now hopefully people would only talk about Kelly and her bogeys, instead of you and your prank. Your mistake was history now.

You had to admit it. Thanks to professor Snape, you were feeling a lot better. Learning to brew the Draught of peace and cast defensive spells to bullies had made your life easier. Someday, you’d have to thank professor Snape for being … unusually nice to you.

It felt like Hallowe’en had been only a few days ago, but as snow covered the ground and the decorations changed from orange to red and from black to green, you knew it was Christmas. You personally didn’t care too much about Christmas - As a kid, it was just great to get gifts and eat delicious food, but as you were a young adult now, there weren’t that many gifts anymore. The magical feeling of Santa Claus being real had faded over the years. Now, Christmas was just a holiday to get together with your family. Even that didn't excite you anymore.  This was your first Christmas without mom around, after all. You still missed her, every single day. But you didn’t feel like crying anymore, at least not when people were watching. You had learned to accept that she was gone, and instead tried to focus on the good memories you and her shared. Your mother was a good mother. She had taught you well.

This Christmas, you were going to visit her grave and just talk to her, tell her how you were doing at school. Maybe it was silly to talk to a gravestone, but you liked to think that your mother would be there to listen.

Since when did Christmas turn into such a sad holiday?

\--

“Y/N, are you coming to the feast?” Avery asked you, peeking from the doorway.

“Yes, just … give me a moment”, you mumbled.

Tomorrow, you would leave Hogwarts and go back home which you weren’t too excited about. But you promised yourself that you’d enjoy yourself today. It was almost Christmas, after all! And as always, the Great Hall was hosting a feast with all kinds of delicious food to eat. You couldn’t wait.

You stared at your reflection. You were wearing your favorite casual clothes, but you were wondering if you should put on something more festive … No, you weren’t going to the Yule Ball. Showing up more dressed than everyone else would make people to stare at you, and you didn’t want to be stared at. So, clean casual clothes it was.

Yet, an odd feeling told you that you wanted to impress someone tonight.

You slowly pulled out your wand and pressed the tip against your hair. “Colovaria”, you said quietly, and watched how few strands of your hair turned white, creating a stripe. Hmm. You would never color all of your hair white, and you probably wouldn’t keep this stripe of color in your hair very long. Your dad would kill you. But maybe just for tonight. 

When you finally stepped out of the common room, you met Avery in the hallway who had been waiting for you. They immediately noticed your new hair, and asked why didn’t you color it red or green, since those are the common colors of Christmas. You said that you made it white because that’s the color of snow.

“Isn’t snow yellow?” Avery said.

You punched them in the shoulder, laughing until your stomach hurt.

You felt like tonight was going to be a good night.

But only if professor Snape would pump into you.

\--

You didn’t see professor Snape at the feast.

For some reason, you felt disappointed. As you sat on the edge of your bed, still deciding if you should change into your sleepwear or not, you thought that something about this night was missing. If you don’t see professor Snape tonight, you putting on your favorite clothes and using ‘Colovaria’ on your hair was pointless. If you don’t see professor Snape tonight, the feast was unfilling and the night was a waste.

You yet didn’t know why you felt that way. But you’d figure it out later. Now, you had to hurry if you wanted to find him.

You got out of your bed and put your shoes back on. You grabbed your wand and slowly left the common room, tip toeing as quietly as you could.

The halls of Hogwarts were silent as every student in the school was deep in sleep. It was quite dark expect by the windows where the moonlight was peeking in through the glass. Despite wearing shoes, your toes felt cold. You felt thrilled to be out of bed secretly.

“Lumos”, you said the incantation quietly and watched how the tip of your wand turned into a ball of light to show your way to the potions classroom. Hopefully, professor Snape was there. God, what were you going to say to him? You definitely wouldn’t tell him that something in him was pulling you towards him. Heavens no. Maybe you should just turn back. At least you wouldn’t lose house points if you were found wandering around the halls at night.

You sighed and turned around to head back to your dormitory, but a tall dark figure made you jump in surprise and gasp loudly like you were about to have a heart attack. “Oh God, you scared me!” you said, laughing a little. 

“May I ask why are you out of bed, Y/N?” the man you had been looking for said. You couldn’t believe your luck. Severus Snape seemed to be always close when you needed him the most. Was it possible that he was always looking for you, too?

“I was looking for you, actually”, you told him, lowering your wand so the light wasn’t shining right into Snape’s face. He lowered his illuminated wand, too, returning the favor.

“Me?” Severus raised an eyebrow. “Why would you be looking for me?”

“I just … wanted to talk, I guess”, you said carefully, since professor Snape had asked his question in a pretty cold tone. “This is my first Christmas without my mom. I just want something else to think about.”

Severus looked at you up and down, obviously thinking something very hard. He then quietly murmured ‘fine’, turned around with his cape swinging around, and started walking off. “Follow me.”

“Where are we going?” you asked, jogging a little to catch up to him.

“The Astronomy Tower”, Severus replied.

“But professor, that’s out-of-bounds for students”, you reminded him. Well, you’ve been in the tower before for Astronomy lessons, but it was against the rules to go there during any other time. 

“It’s not if you’re with a professor”, Severus said back with little care. You raised your brows a little. Well, if professor Snape said that it was okay to go there, then you’d follow him. Even if it would turn out to be a grave mistake.

  
  


\--

Despite only having a few lessons in the tallest tower of Hogwarts, it was definitely one of your favorite places to study. You thought the room was more interesting when it was shaped like a circle and the walls weren’t completely straight. Even if going up the skinny stairs and being so close to the edge that did nothing to stop you from jumping down was scary enough to make your heart ache, you secretly liked it. You liked the view, no matter if you were looking up in the sky like you were supposed to, or gazing down on the ground where you could see the yard, the forbidden forest and the lake surrounding the school. The heliocentric model that was floating and moving in the air in the middle of the room was your favorite thing to observe, and the globular telescope near the wall reminded you of that time when for the first time you spotted Sirius, the brightest star, from the night sky.

You felt quite thrilled to be here, if you were honest. Maybe it was the excitement of knowing you shouldn’t be here right now, even if professor Snape was with you. Speaking of Snape … You turned around and found the man leaning against the metal fence, looking up to the sky. You could see only a little bit of his face, but you could tell that Snape looked calm. Calmer than he usually was.

Like he had felt your eyes peering into him, Severus straightened his back and pulled out his wand. He cast a spell that you had never heard before, and watched how Severus waved his wand until a large magical harp appeared. The harp looked like it was made out of silver, judging from the way it was almost sparkling under the moonlight, and as it started playing music, a calm melody echoed in the tower.

Severus slowly walked closer to you and offered his hand. You looked down at the offered hand, then back up with the man with confusion written all over your face. Severus smiled just a little bit about you being bemused.

“You said you wished to have something else to think about”, Severus reminded you of your own words. “What better way to get rid of unwanted thoughts than to dance them away?”

You looked back down at his hand, your heart suddenly picking up its pace, beating so strongly against your chest that you were afraid it would jump out. Before you could even ask yourself why was all of this happening, your hand automatically moved to hold professor Snape’s hand. His hand was larger than yours, and as his fingers wrapped around yours and pulled you closer to his body, you felt secure.

You’re not sure if you’ve ever danced with someone like this before. But to your luck, Severus was understanding and he started slow, helping you move with him. And like magic, everything seemed to lock into place. Your left hand moved to rest on his shoulder, while Severus placed his right hand by your waist. As he stepped back with his left food, your right foot followed by stepping forward, and despite having two left feet when it came to dancing, every move your professor made was easy to follow. Your rhythm was slow to match with the romantic music played by the harp, and with professor Snape’s guidance, you felt like a feather dancing in the air with the wind. Beautiful and graceful.

“Your hair … It has turned white”, Severus said quietly as your dancing slowed down until the two of you were gently just swaying side to side.

“Oh”, you mumbled. You had forgotten the spell you used on your hair. “It’s the Color Change Charm. I just wanted to try it.”

Severus’ hand removed itself from your waist and moved up to stroke your hair, inspecting the white stripe better. “It’s beautiful”, he said extremely quietly like he wished the music to drown his words, but you were close enough to hear it. You smiled. 

“Thank you”, you said quietly. Usually when you were embarrassed or shy, you’d look down at the floor. But right now you couldn’t stop looking at Severus Snape. His body was so close to you that all you had to do was to lean forward in order to be completely pressed against him. You slowly blinked and looked at the man longer and longer, admiring how the moonlight brought out the best details of his face, and how the very gentle wind made his hair and clothes fly. 

“You’re beautiful.”

First you didn’t even realize you had said that out loud. But when you noticed Snape’s eyes turn wider, your smile faded away. Embarrassment took over your whole body, and suddenly you felt like jumping off the Astronomy tower was the best option. But then, just as you were feeling like you’d have another panic attack, Severus chuckled and laughed a little bit. He _laughed_. You had never heard him laugh. The sound of it made your stomach weak.

“You’re quite extraordinary, Y/N”, Severus told you, his hand back on your waist, pulling you closer.

“Really?” you said with confidence, even if your voice was a little shaky. “What else am I?”

“Enchanting”, he replied. You could feel your cheeks turn red, and you couldn’t help but smile.

The melody the harp had been playing turned slower, and so did your dancing. You felt like you were getting lost in Severus Snape’s dark eyes, his stare so captivating that you could look into it for hours. Severus let go of your hand and moved it to cup your cheek, his thumb stroking right below your eye. You closed your eyes for a moment and leaned against his hand. His skin was cold, yet the touch felt comforting enough for you to fall asleep against it.

“Your presence drives me to think thoughts I shouldn’t think about”, Severus said quietly. When you opened your eyes, you noticed that he was closer, leaning down so the tip of his nose almost touched yours. 

“What kind of thoughts?” you asked bravely. Severus gasped for air softly, and so did you. 

“Anything and everything related to you”, he said, closing his eyes and pressing his forehead against yours. You closed your eyes too and enjoyed the moment, secretly lifting yourself up on your toes. You parted your lips as you waited for Severus to move just a few inches down and do it. You wanted him to do it. Your whole body was screaming for it at this point. 

Your hand stroked up from Severus’ shoulder to his cheek, then to his hair. You could hear Severus gasp again.

“I’m sorry, darling”, he gasped, then forcefully broke away from you. Severus didn’t explain himself, but quickly turned around and stormed off to the stairs, jumping over every other step to get out of here as quickly as he could.

“Wait!” you shouted. But Severus was already by the classroom door, opening it and stepping out.

“Severus!” you shouted out his name for the very first time, at the same time when the door slammed shut. You collapsed down onto your knees and took a long moment to just breathe.

The harp had stopped playing and was now slowly turning into air, disappearing from the room like it was never there. The moonlight was still there, shining over your body, exposing you from the darkness. Suddenly, it became cold, as a winter night should be.

Yet you didn’t feel cold when you had been up here with Severus.

  
  


\--

  
  


Your Christmas was peaceful with nothing special about it. You went to church that was filled with muggles, just because your father’s girlfriend wished to go. You went to the graveyard to see your mother. You ate a meal at home and opened the few presents you got. 

You couldn’t bring yourself to enjoy the holiday, no matter how hard you tried. What had happened at the Astronomy tower was keeping you up during the night and stopped you from thinking about anything else.

Right now as the night was getting closer to an end, you sat in the living room by the window, looking up at the night sky filled with stars. The rest of your family was chatting to each other, drinking a little wine and sitting close to the fireplace. You couldn’t make yourself join them, so you sat alone, focused on the cold night outside.

As you stared up at the sky, you saw a small shooting star fly in the distance. You immediately closed your eyes and made a wish.

“I wish”, you mouthed silently to yourself.

“I wish to see him again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all so much for the positive feedback ! ^^


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me a while to post this! I've just started my new medication which makes me extremely sleepy so writing was really difficult.

**1983**

You’ve never been this nervous to go back to school. Now your N.E.W.T.s were getting closer and you really had to focus on studying or else you’d fail again and leave Hogwarts as a double-time loser with no future ahead of them. During the train ride back to Hogwarts, all you could think about was doing the test, and the more you thought about it the more panicked you felt. You were going to drown in your books and you were not happy about that. At least now Avery was also going to do the test with you, and was going to study with you. 

You wouldn't be alone this time.

But you couldn't help but be afraid of failing your N.E.W.T.s because your mind was too focused on professor Snape.

After the feast, students rushed out of the Great Hall to go into their common rooms, professors sitting in their seats for a moment longer to be the last ones to leave. Only one teacher left the table before the others - professor Snape. And you couldn’t let him run away, not this time.

What had happened in the Astronomy Tower was still bothering you. Bothering you in a good way where it was the only thing you could think about, and in a bad way where you wondered if Severus would ever talk to you again. The thought of it was torturing you.  So, as you saw him leaving the Great Hall, you ran after him, catching him right outside the doors. “Professor Snape! I need to talk to you”, you shouted, catching up to him fast and even daring to grab him by the sleeve of his shirt. Severus immediately yanked his arm away from you and turned around.

“What is so important that it can’t wait ‘till tomorrow?” he snarled at you, treating you like … any other student. Now that you think about it, Severus could be really mean sometimes. Yet even when he was yelling at you, you couldn’t bring yourself to hate him. 

It was like you could see he was hurting from the inside, or something.

“I just … I wanted to ask about the detention”, you mumbled out. You realized the two of you were in a public space with multiple students eavesdropping, so you couldn’t say what you really wanted. Hopefully, professor Snape would understand and take you somewhere more private where the two of you could continue your conversation.

But he didn’t.

“Ah. Detention. You’re dismissed from it”, he said, then spun around and started walking off.

“Wait -- What?” you stuttered, then collected your thoughts and started walking after professor Snape. “What do you mean ‘dismissed’?”

“It means you no longer have detention”, Snape said, not stopping. He was taking large steps that you were having a hard time following after.

“But professor Dumbledore specified that I have detention for a full year, and with you!” you spat back at him. You couldn’t believe that you were almost begging to have detention. It was sometimes fun at detention, especially if you were with Snape.

Severus suddenly spun around so quick you barely had time to react. His hand grabbed you by the collar of your school uniform and he pushed you against the wall, holding you up so high only your toes touched the floor. Your eyes widened as you stared at him, your face going pale. But the rest of your body felt red, hot, flaming.

“He also specified that you study for your N.E.W.T.s so you won’t fail. _Again_ ”, Severus growled at you, deepening his voice at the last word. You felt insulted, but did your best to hold back tears. You knew Severus didn’t mean that. He was just trying to push you away. Right?

“You don’t mean that, Severus”, you said quietly. He released his grip from you and took two steps back from you, staring at you with an expression that almost had fear in it.

“Five points from your house. You only address me as ‘professor’, nothing else!” he reminded you. “Your detention has been traded for study time. Use it well.”

Professor Snape then stormed off, and this time you didn’t bother following after him. You felt confused. Weak. And extremely sad. As you started walking to your common room, you felt your eyes turn wet once again. 

Something was wrong. You had an idea why Severus was avoiding you - He was a teacher, and you were a student. But something was between you two, something so strong that you couldn’t just simply move on from it. 

You had to try and talk to him again.

\--

You never managed to talk to Snape about the situation between the two of you.

Despite him telling you that you no longer had detention, you still showed up by his classroom, knocking on the door and asking him to let you in. But the door never opened. Either he simply wasn’t there, or he was ignoring you. But as you tried to see him every day after classes, the door never opened so you believed professor Snape was avoiding you. It hurt. But you did your best to stay optimistic. After all, the two of you had to talk, no matter if professor Snape was running away from you.

After trying to catch professor Snape for over a month, you finally got to have potion classes. Now, it would be harder for him to avoid you. 

You and your friend Avery sat next to each other in potion’s class and patiently waited for the professor to come and start the lesson. You were fidgeting on your seat, scratching the skin next to the nail of your thumb and kicking your legs around. You felt nervous. When you weren’t studying, you were preparing yourself to talk to Snape when you could catch him. But today was the day when you could finally talk to him without him running off. Your hands were sweaty.

“I wonder what we’re making today in potion’s class”, Avery said.

“Mmh”, you just hummed back to them. How the hell were you going to focus when professor Snape was teaching? All you could think about was last December and the dance you two had … It was almost hard to believe that you had actually danced with him. It was also hard to believe that you couldn't stop thinking about it.

“It’s obvious”, a familiar voice said, making you lift your head up. Kelly, the girl who’s been bullying you the past year, said in a loud tone as she sat by the same table as you. “We’re making Amortentia.”

“What makes you so sure?” Avery asked in a mocking tone.

“Because tomorrow is Valentine’s day, idiot”, Kelly said back.

Was it really Valentine’s already? You couldn’t believe how fast time was passing by you. It felt like you had no control over it - Soon you were taking your N.E.W.T.s again. The thought of the test made your skin crawl. Even if you’ve been studying well for it, you still didn’t feel ready.

“Man, I hate Valentine’s day. No one ever has a crush on me”, Avery mumbled.

“... That’s not true”, Kelly said quietly. 

“Sorry, what did you say? Another insult, perhaps?” Avery grinned. You noticed Kelly’s cheek turn a little red despite her sulking. As Kelly pulled out her book, you leaned closer to Avery and asked what was going on between the two of them. You could have sworn that Avery and Kelly were almost friendly with each other. But before Avery could answer you, the classroom door opened and professor Snape stormed in, heading over to his cauldron that at first glance seemed empty, but was in fact full with a mysterious potion inside it.

“Today we will be making Amortentia, the most powerful love potion in existence”, professor Snape started, avoiding your gaze. “Now I will warn you - Amortentia doesn’t create real love, but only obsession. I advise you to not force anyone to drink this potion. It might get you expelled.”

Few girls released a disappointed sigh. You thought that love potions were quite silly. Love shouldn’t be something that you force to happen. It was something that was born almost out of nowhere. Fabricated love was nowhere close to real love and the way it made you feel.

“Amortentia has a different aroma for everyone who smells it. Its scent reminds each person of the things that they find most attractive, even if the person doesn’t acknowledge it themselves”, professor Snape explained. “That is why I have made the potion beforehand. Now, form a line.”

The girls of the classroom rushed to be the first ones to smell the potion, while the boys came last. You were somewhere in the middle, waiting for your turn with an anxious feeling. You kept looking at professor Snape while the students said what they smelled out loud - chocolate, freshly cut grass, pumpkin juice, coconut shampoo … Somebody smelled something similar to their cat’s bathroom, making the whole class laugh at them for being attracted to ‘cat piss’. Professor Snape reminded that the scent would only remind you of someone you were attracted to, or smell like something you thought yourself was attractive. The person who had smelled cat piss confessed their muggle friend owned a cat and that they had a crush on them. Yet, people continued laughing, promising to always call that student 'a lover of cat piss'. You felt bad for them.

When it was finally your turn, your eyes locked with professor Snape. His expression was calm but impatient, so you decided you wouldn’t stand there for too long. You leaned your head over the cauldron and inhaled strongly, keeping your eyes closed to really focus on the smell.  “It smells like … fresh snow”, you stated first. You immediately knew why you smelled that - It was raining snow when you and professor Snape danced together in the Astronomy tower. You inhaled again.

“I think that’s … parchment. And .... and …”

“And?” Severus said in a low tone. You pulled back and opened your eyes, swallowing nervously.

“Old leather shoes, sir”, you said, looking up at him. “I smell fresh snow, parchment and old leather shoes.”

You noticed how professor Snape raised his eyebrows just the tiniest bit, then swallowed and licked his bottom lip like he was nervous but did his best to hide it. “Great. Next one, please. We don’t have all day”, professor Snape said, and you quickly turned around and walked over to your seat.

Your heart was racing.

Damn it.

You were utterly, completely in love with professor Severus Snape.

  
  


\--

You woke up on Valentine’s day with cold sweat and a heart beating so strong you felt it on your throat. Hogwarts didn’t celebrate Valentine’s day like it did celebrate Christmas or Halloween, but the Great Hall was still decorated in pink and was serving chocolate frogs and candies through every meal. You couldn’t bring yourself to eat any sweets today. Your stomach felt sick already.

The classes went by so slowly, but when the sky got darker, you finally got back to your common room, dropping yourself on top of the couch by the fireplace. Your feet were aching for some reason, and you felt dizzy. And your stupid heart was racing still.

“Everything alright?” Avery asked, lifting your legs up so they could sit on the couch, then moving your legs to rest on their lap.

“I’m … I’m screwed”, you mumbled out.

“You’ve been studying for your N.E.W.T.s a lot, there is no way you’ll fail”, Avery encouraged you, their hand rubbing up and down your leg.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you -- Oh. Oh?” Avery looked at you with a pair of curious eyes, and you covered your face. Avery grabbed onto your knee and pressed their fingers down on the sides, making your leg jerk up. “Is it a crush? Are you having heart troubles? Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“Well you didn’t tell me about you and Kelly!” you shouted out, kicking your legs off the couch and sitting up.

“What about me and Kelly?” Avery said, pretending like they didn’t know what you were talking about.

“I … I don’t know. You two just seemed familiar yesterday in class”, you said. “And I’m quite sure you smelled their shampoo in the potion! Don’t lie - Kelly’s hair smells like strawberries, even I know that.”

“Ah. That’s true”, Avery whistled. “Me and her have been talking behind your back … She told me she likes me, and I told her we can get to know each other if she stops bullying you.”

“Oh”, you breathed out. You had no idea that was happening. You’ve been so busy with studying and being obsessed about your potions professor that you hadn’t even noticed that Avery had a thing going on with someone.

“You know, I … I do kinda like her”, Avery confessed, giggling until their cheeks hurt. “She’s bossy and mean sometimes, but she’s doing her best to be a better person.”

“Well, you have my permission to date her. As long as she doesn’t bully me anymore”, you said, punching Avery’s shoulder playfully.

“You and her could be friends. We could go and watch her play Quidditch one day”, Avery said. You weren’t too excited about that, but you were also a forgiving person. You could at least try and befriend her.

“Alright. That works for me”, you said.

Avery then placed their hand on your shoulder and asked; “So, who do you have a crush on?”

You swallowed nervously. You couldn’t tell Avery, not now when the school year wasn’t yet over. It was almost embarrassing to have feelings for your teacher. Besides, you didn't want professor Snape to get in trouble.  “I can’t tell you. Not right now”, you said quietly.

Avery didn’t seem to mind about you being so secretive. “Well, whoever it is, you should tell them about your feelings. Even if they would reject you, your chest will feel lighter. Trust me.”

“You sound like an expert”, you commented.

“I am an expert”, Avery said proudly. “Get some chocolate or something. Find out what your crush likes and give them a gift. Then tell them about your feelings.”

After hearing such support from your best friend, you started to feel more confident. You bit down onto your lip and took a moment to just think, before you decided how to confess your feelings.  “Thank you, Avery. I gotta go now”, you said and stood up, making sure you had your wand in your pocket.

“Tell me later how it went”, Avery gave you a thumbs-up.

“I might even tell who it is if you’re nice”, you said jokingly before rushing out of the common room, heading towards the potions classroom.

  
  


\--

  
  


After being away for just a moment, professor Snape returned to his classroom feeling exhausted and unhappy, as he usually was. He hadn't locked the door after him since he was only making a quick visit to his storage room, but as he opened the door and took only one step inside the classroom, he could feel that somebody had been in here.

By his desk there was an unfamiliar grey pot with a flower bud growing inside it. Professor Snape hesitantly walked towards it, holding his hand closeby to his wand, ready for everything. During his first year at Hogwarts, some students had left him pranks during holidays, welcoming him to school in unfriendly manners. So, he was ready for anything at this point, and never trusted anything or anyone.

Then, he heard the sound of the door closing behind him, breaking the silence in the classroom but not making him jump in surprise. In fact, professor Snape didn't yet turn around but kept glaring at the mysterious pot.

"Herbivicus", he heard your faint voice by the door, casting a spell on the flower bud. Severus quietly watched the flower bloom right before his eyes, the large dark blue petals spreading open until the magical flower was fully grown, standing tall like its whole life it has been watered daily.

"A beautiful, but simple spell. You learned it in fifth year, am I right?" Severus said, tying his hands behind his back and turning around to face you. "I'm quite sure this spell isn't going to be in your N.E.W.T.s, Y/N."

No, it wasn't. Not like you memorized that spell for the test, anyway. You took a shaky step towards professor Snape. You had managed to sneak inside his classroom and use the same spell to make a seed grow into a flower, but when you had heard Severus walking towards the room, you hadn't had the time to fully grow the flower.

A flower for your Valentine. How cheesy. But it was the best you could do at the moment.

"It's a gift, professor", you told him, pocketing your wand. 

"A gift? For what reason?" professor Snape asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You know why", you stopped to stand a few feet away from him. "It's Valentine's day."

Professor Snape growled uncomfortably and turned his back to you. “I told you, no more detention with me. You don’t have to come down here outside class hours.”

“I’m not here for detention”, you said. Professor Snape didn’t listen to you, but instead huffed under his breath and started walking towards the classroom door. You could almost see in the future where he would open the door and tell you to leave. So before professor Snape could reach the door, you shouted after him: “You said I was ‘enchanting’. Was that a lie?”

You saw professor Snape grab onto the door knob, but then not having the strength to twist it and open the door. Instead he stood there for a while before releasing a defeated sigh. “No”, he told you quietly.

Your heart skipped a beat. You felt extremely nervous as you gathered up the courage to say your next words. Professor Snape was still standing by the door, waiting for you to speak, and based on what you were going to say, he’d either open the door and leave, or keep it closed shut. You swallowed.  “I didn’t lie either”, you told him. You had called Severus ‘beautiful’ by accident when you had been far too deep in your thoughts. You hoped that Severus still remembered that, so you wouldn’t have to say it again. But you would, if you had to.

Severus Snape slowly turned around and looked at you, standing by his desk next to his cauldron, leaning against the edge of the wooden surface. In his eyes, you looked vulnerable but not withered, and assertive but modest. The second he looked at you, it was almost impossible for him to prey his eyes away, and that’s when he knew that he should have left and never looked back.

“Have you ever noticed how your eyes light up when you talk back to me?” Severus asked as he finally managed to make himself move towards you, each step taken carefully like he was walking on thin ice. “Or how your cheeks turn red when you simply just look at me?”

You leaned against the desk behind you, holding onto the edge with both of your hands to make yourself stay still. Yet, your right leg was gently tapping against the floor impatiently. God, you had to bite onto your lip to collect yourself.

“Do you even realize what an effect it has on me?” Severus asked as he finally stood right in front of you, as close as he was in December in the highest tower of Hogwarts. He kept his eyes on yours as he leaned forward, his hands moving on each side of you and grabbing onto the desk, his body leaning over you. You leaned back a little as a reaction, but you knew that you had nowhere to go now. If you leaned back too much, you’d fall on top of the table, and that would be too much.

“It’s enough to drive a simple man crazy”, Severus almost growled, his deep quiet voice making your skin crawl in an exciting way yet again.

“What else have you noticed about me?” you managed to ask without stuttering a single word.

“You’re bold. Far too bold”, Severus said. He raised one of his hands to stroke the white stripe on your hair again, before he lowered his hand back down on the table. His eyes had watched you when he had caressed your hair, and he smiled, just the tiniest bit. “But you also shiver when I touch you. It’s almost as if … you’re surrendering yourself to me.”

Just like professor Snape had said, your body shivered as a response. Your heart was beating fast enough to make it feel like you were having another panic attack, except this was much pleasant - It made you want more, even if your heart would explode from all of it.

“And what if I am?” you asked, tilting your head back so you could stare back into his eyes, already feeling like you were drowning.

“Then you’re as foolish as a person resting with snakes”, Severus whispered.

You didn’t know what that meant. But you weren’t going to ask, not when his hand rose up once again to hold onto your cheek, before he leaned down the same way he did last time, only now finally going all the way in. You closed your eyes and parted your lips, feeling Severus press his mouth against yours. It was stupidly gentle at first as you both were testing the waters - and probably thinking _‘is this really happening?’_ -, but only after a few seconds, you felt Severus relax and kiss you harder.

This felt far too real to be another daydream. You surrendered completely, embracing the kiss that made your whole body tingle and lean back towards Severus, welcoming him. Your hands moved up his body to his neck, then wrapping around it so you could hold onto him for dear life. When you felt Severus wrap his arms around your waist and pull you closer as a response, you felt weak in the knees.

Severus must have noticed you almost losing your balance, because he soon pulled back, silently gasping for air. You gasped for air louder than he did, but you couldn’t help it - You felt like you were drowning again.

“I shouldn’t”, Severus said quietly, resting his forehead against yours.

“I know”, you said back to him, knowing exactly what he meant. “But … Maybe, we could … I think that … I don’t know.”

“You’re stalling”, Severus chuckled, caressing your hair and lifting his head up to press a kiss on your forehead. It felt comforting. “Let’s just wait.”

“How long?” you asked.

“Until I say so”, Severus ordered. “But if you must know, I will not be your ‘boyfriend’ when you’re still a student of mine.”

You understood his reasoning quite well so you didn’t protest or even sulk about his decision. Instead, you gave him an understanding nod and slowly pulled your hands away, even if you wished to keep hugging him. His body had felt so warm and strong against yours, and .. Oh, God, you had just kissed him. Severus had tasted bitter only the tiniest bit, yet the taste had made you drunk in seconds. You really wished to kiss him again, and you just knew that kiss would be the only thing you’d be thinking for months before summer break.

“Don’t look so disappointed”, professor Snape said, moving only a single finger underneath your chin and lifting your head up to respond to his stare. His thumb stroked over your bottom lip, and you couldn't help but kiss it. “I’m still expecting to see you at detention.”

“But you said --”

“Quiet”, professor Snape said in his usual mean low tone, pressing his thumb down harder on your lip. You gasped, but then smiled softly.

“Yes, professor”, you said without thinking. First Severus twisted the edge of his lip up like he was revolted, but then he couldn’t hold back his smirk. His hand stroked back over to your cheek and he leaned down to kiss you again, now with such passion that it almost made you faint and completely lose your ability to talk. You could feel Severus stroke his tongue against your lip, but only once, before he pulled himself back before he'd be unable to stop himself.

“Get out of my class before I’ll make you regret it”, Severus told you, stepping to the side to give you room to leave. You didn’t even bother holding back a smile as you quickly walked out of class, then proceeded to jump with joy towards your common room.

Your toes ... No, your whole body was tingling. 

You were completely, utterly in love with professor Severus Snape.

And it seemed like he returned your feelings.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your support, it truly means a lot to me! Only one chapter left. I know this story is quite simple but it was the kind of story I needed to write before going back to the bigger stuff. So thanks for tagging along!

The flower you had given to professor Snape was still in his classroom the next time you walked in.

You had immediately noticed the familiar pot placed on the highest shelf, away from everybody so no drops of any kind of potion would fall on its petals, and away from anything that could make it tip over and fall. You could hear students talking about it, wondering who had given professor Snape the flower, and why he had decided to keep it in the first place. The gossip made you laugh. It was difficult to keep ‘it’ a secret.

‘It’ as in your relationship with professor Snape that yet wasn’t official, but was still there.

Dating your teacher was forbidden for obvious reasons, but you felt like the rule didn’t apply to you as you were one of the only students at Hogwarts who was already 18. Sure, you were known as the idiot who didn’t pass their N.E.W.T.s, but you were considered an adult and … Well, being 18 didn’t give you any benefits. You were just older, and still a student. Dating your teacher was still against the rules, but soon it wouldn't be a problem.

Honestly, you thought that waiting until you graduated was a good idea. It meant that Severus wished to be responsible about this, and was also serious. He wanted to see you in summer. No more meetings in his classroom - even though you liked them -, but the two of you could meet elsewhere without having to hide.

But for now, you were fine meeting him during detention.

As promised, Severus let you study for your N.E.W.T.s during detention so you could use your time wisely. Most of the time, you were focused and basically buried in your books, but every now and then you couldn’t help but look at professor Snape. He didn’t talk to you during detention, but was always focused on doing his own tasks like cleaning the room, making a potion or preparing for next class. Today, he had made a potion that he was now transferring into smaller bottles decorated with small animal bones. You got curious and silently walked closer towards the cauldron, sniffing it from afar.

“Is that Skele-Gro?” you asked. Professor Snape seemed a little surprised to see you away from your seat, but didn’t say anything about it.

“You are correct”, he told you, then prepared to ask you a test-like question. “What are the ingredients needed to make this potion?”

“Scarab beetles -”, you started but professor Snape stopped you.

“How many?”

“Four … no, five Scarab beetles, three Puffer-fishes and … a Chinese Chomping Cabbage.”

“Impressive”, professor Snape congratulated you. “Can you guess why I’m making Skele-Gro?”

“That’s obvious”, you said with confidence. “There’s a Quidditch match tomorrow. Madam Pomfrey is most likely out of Skele-Gro, which is a potion that mends broken bones or even regrows them, and she has asked you to make some more. Just in case something happens tomorrow.”

Severus smiled with satisfaction. “What a clever thing, you are”, he said, his hand moving to caress the back of your head, but the second you looked up at him with something similar to desire hidden beneath your eyes, Severus removed his hand and proceeded to pour the potion into smaller bottles. You didn't like it when he stopped touching you. Whenever his hand was pressed against your body, no matter which part of it, you were filled with that thrill you could only get when you were doing something risky. Sometimes, your heart was going so fast around Severus that it made you feel dizzy.

And whenever Severus pulled away from you, it suddenly felt cold.

“Do you like Quidditch, sir?” you asked him, just to get rid of the awkward silence that had fallen between the two of you.

“Never really cared for it, I’m afraid. But I never miss a match if Slytherin is playing”, he told you.

“Oh. Of course”, you said. It wasn’t that surprising that professor Snape was almost obsessed with the Slytherin house and wanted to be there to support it no matter what. “I was wondering if ---”

“No”, professor Snape said strictly.

“You didn’t even let me finish”, you frowned.

“I don’t have to because I know you were about to ask if we could watch the game together. The answer is no. You’ll be seated with your classmates while I will sit with the teachers. End of discussion”, he told you strictly, keeping his eyes away from you.

“That’s not what I was about to say”, you told him.

Severus turned to look at you slowly and raised an eyebrow. He looked defeated for not being able to read you so well after all. “Then what were you going to say?”

“I was going to say if you wanted to have a kiss for luck”, you said, grinning widely.

Severus stared at you quietly for a few seconds before rolling his eyes and releasing a sigh. “I thought I told you to wait”, he said, closing a bottle he had just filled and placing it on the table before he fully turned towards you, now paying all of his attention to you only.

“Oh, right. Sorry”, you muttered, embarrassed. You felt like you were being too pushy now, too eager. Your eyes dropped down onto the floor as you turned around to head back to your seat and continue studying. But before you could take a step forward, you felt Severus Snape’s hand grab you tightly by your waist, and the next thing you felt was his lips pressed against your throat, gently sucking on the skin. You felt out of breath suddenly, even a little dizzy, but Severus was luckily behind you, stopping you from falling backwards.

“Let’s hope that won’t leave a mark”, he whispered into your ear before pulling back, releasing his grip from you.

“Let’s hope it does”, you panted out.

Severus chuckled. “You’re making me soft. Too soft, in fact”, he told you, then patted you on the back as to wake you up properly. “Now go back and study.”

You did as told, expect for the rest of the night you couldn’t help but keep touching the spot on your neck Severus had kissed.

\--

When you first came to Hogwarts, you were very competitive when it came to Quidditch. You were at every match, cheering for your team, and if your house’s team wasn’t playing that day, you were cheering anyway. Quidditch was the kind of game that you had to focus on completely if you wanted to understand which team was winning, so watching the game was a perfect distraction from your studies. But now you didn’t really care who won the Quidditch cup - You weren’t even sure who all the players were. Now, you just watched the games to pass time.

You and your friend Avery cheered as Kelly, your former enemy, swung her bat and hit a Bludger, making it fly towards the opposite team. Kelly did a few spins with her broom to show off before greeting at the audience and continuing the game.

“She’s great, isn’t she?” Avery shouted to you, clapping their hands.

“I hate to admit it, but yes, she’s good”, you said back to them. “Are you two dating now?”

“Not yet”, Avery said to you, leaning to talk right into your ear so they didn’t have to shout. “But after this match, me and her are gonna go to Hogsmeade for some Butterbeers. You’re welcome to join us!”

Why the hell not. You seriously needed a Butterbeer right now. And you could try getting to know Kelly, even if you couldn’t see anything good about her after all the bullying. But after Christmas, no one had been an ass towards you so maybe Kelly had told everyone to leave you alone. If that was true, you’d be glad to meet up with her and talk things out.

“Watch out!” somebody shouted suddenly, and since this wasn’t your first time watching Quidditch, you immediately went down on your knees and covered your head with your hands. As expected, everyone seated near you went down too as a Seeker flew right over one of the stands surrounding the pitch, then circled around and flew over you once again. When the danger seemed to be over, you stood up with a sigh.

But then you noticed you were the only one standing up.

“Y/N, get down!” Avery shouted at you, but it was too late.

You hadn’t noticed the Bludger following after the Seeker.

The ball flew right at you, colliding against the back of your head and making your whole body fall forward. The hit immediately made you unconscious and without being able to stop yourself, you fell down from the front row seat and started falling onto the pitch.

  
  


“Aresto Momentum!”

  
  


\--

  
  


You woke up in the hospital wing with tears in your eyes and a massive headache torturing you. It hurt so bad. A pained whimper escaped from your throat as you curled up into a ball, placing both of your hands on your head. It felt like your head was going to explode, like your skull had cracked open and your brain was missing a piece. The pain was so strong it felt like it was going through your whole body. _Fuck,_ you felt like you were about to puke.

“Episkey”, you heard Madam Pomfrey say, except the sound was muffled. The pain eased down but only a little, but thanks to the spell, it felt like there was a warm blanket around your head, calming down the aching. But it wasn’t strong enough. You released a loud cry, turning to lay on your back, kicking around with your feet.

“Severus, the Healing Potion. Quickly”, you heard Madam Pomfrey say. A second presence appeared on the other side of the bed, and then a familiar hand moved to cup your cheek and open your mouth. The potion was forced down your throat and you swallowed it, and almost in seconds you felt better, stronger, healthy. When the pain finally seemed to be gone, you gasped for air and opened your eyes.

You were laying on a bed with four people looking down at you. Madam Pomfrey was there as expected, and so was Avery who looked extremely worried about you. They had been crying. You could tell from their reddish eyes and relieved whimpers. Then, Severus was standing on your right side, holding a half-empty bottle of red liquid. And the last person was professor Dumbledore, who looked quite calm despite the situation.

“What happened?” you asked as you slowly sat up, rubbing your head and looking around. You were seated close to the corner of the room, furthest from the door. You could see two Quidditch players dozed off by the beds closer to the doors. They had flowers and candy placed on their night table, given by worried fans and friends. You didn't have any flowers by your bed.

“You were hit by a Bludger. Nasty accident”, Madam Pomfrey told you. “You’re lucky you didn’t lose your head.”

“You fell down onto the pitch, too. I was afraid you’d fallen on your neck!” Avery said with a terrified expression. You noticed a hint of a fresh tear in their eyes and you quickly told them you felt fine. In fact, you felt pretty good right now and started inspecting if all of your body parts were in working order. You rolled your shoulders, bent your legs and moved your arms, not feeling any pain but feeling faint aching on the right side of your body. You most likely fell on that side. 

“I’m pleased I was able to slow down your falling with a spell”, Dumbledore spoke. “You should rest now. I think a week-long break from detention should be enough?”

“No, I’m fine, I promise”, you insisted, but then hissed in pain when you felt your head ache again. You laid back down, holding onto your head. It felt like your head was aching if you sat up for too long.

“Quite persistent, aren’t they?” Dumbledore chuckled, turning to look at professor Snape.

“Indeed, they are”, he replied back before turning back to look at you. Snape looked quite worried about you, more than your friend was in fact. And Dumbledore seemed to notice that, because then he clapped his hands together and said; “Professor Snape, since you’ve been watching over Y/N during their weekly detention, I suggest you keep your eye on them today.”

“But that is my job”, Madam Pomfrey said.

“I believe you’ll be quite busy with that seeker over there”, Dumbledore said and pointed at the student who had just woken up and was whimpering in pain, thankfully so far away you could just barely hear it. “I noticed their leg is pointing to three different directions.”

“Oh yes, poor thing is going to be lucky if I’ll be able to save the limb”, Madam Pomfrey said. “Now, excuse me.”

As she left to treat the two Quidditch players (one of them with a very disfigured leg and another one with a broken shoulder), Dumbledore turned towards Avery, telling them that they should leave and check up on their friend later after they have rested. You noticed that Avery didn’t quite want to leave, but they were too afraid to fight back against the headmaster himself so they wished you well before leaving.

“You should make more of that potion, Severus. It will be needed”, Dumbledore said, tapped the glass of the bottle Severus was holding before he walked off, as mysterious as always.

“What did he mean by that?” you asked Severus.

“It means that your head will be hurting for quite a while. You’ll be drinking Healing Potion instead of Pumpkin juice during your lunch periods”, he said and placed the bottle by the small table next to your bed. He then pulled out his wand, flicked it, and magically the cubicle curtain circled around your bed, giving you the private enclosure you needed. Well, anyone could still hear you, but at least no curious eyes were prying into your soul.

“And what was that for?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

“For some privacy”, Severus told you and sat by the edge of the bed. His hand hesitantly moved towards your face, first a little scared to touch you, but then finally having the courage to stroke your hair, just as he always did. “Your hair is still white.”

It was. You remember doing that spell before Christmas to make a white stripe onto your hair. You had told yourself that you wouldn’t keep it for long, but since Severus had liked it, you didn’t dare to change the strand back to its own color.

“I thought you’d like it”, you said.

“I do like it”, Severus replied.

“Do you like me?” you asked bravely. Getting hit in the head so hard made it difficult to keep some things unsaid.

“I like taking care of you”, Snape’s voice lowered. His hand moved away from your hair and instead placed itself on top of the pillow, his form leaning more over yours. “I like how … flustered you get”, he murmured, his voice deep and haunting. It made your legs feel weak. And when Severus leaned down to kiss you, your body shook like it had been hit by lighting. 

It was fun to kiss professor Snape. Now, you weren’t that experienced with kissing, but you could tell that the both of you were kissing like it was your first time. He was uncertain and moved his lips extremely slow, while you weren’t sure how to keep up, constantly wondering if you were doing it right. But despite being as new to this as you were, Severus soon figured out how to push his tongue inside your mouth and stroke it against your tongue, making you kick your legs around a little. Your hand moved up to grab Severus by his hair as you kissed him harder, your other hand starting to wrap around his body to pull him closer --

Severus pulled away from you and pressed his finger against your lips. “Don’t get too excited now, darling”, he whispered. 

You were melting beneath him, completely at his mercy, but a tiny piece of you managed to say something back to him. “Or what, you’ll take house points away from me?” 

“No”, Severus said. He stroked his finger down from your lips to your chin, then travelling down to your neck. Then, his whole hand was pressed against the middle of your chest and started travelling down slowly, down to your stomach, then below your waist, stopping right between your legs. 

You squeaked.

“Don’t tempt me”, Severus said, drawing his hand back and standing up, leaving you hanging. Maybe it was better that way. You don’t want to get too risky while others were still present. “I’ll check up on you later today, and make more of that healing potion. Once you’re up and walking again, we shall continue our weekly detention.”

“Okay”, you said, suddenly feeling out of breath.

“Y/N, that will be the last time I touch you like that while we’re still at school”, Severus warned you, which made you feel a bit disappointed.

“Are you implying that we will be seeing each other after I have graduated?” you asked. Severus turned his back to you and opened the curtain as to leave. “I’m counting on it”, he replied before starting to walk off, leaving you alone but in a very, very giggly mood.

You weren't a fortune teller, but you could just feel that professor Snape was going to gift you a flower, too.


	8. Chapter 8

When professor Snape’s potions had finally cured you completely and stopped the headaches, it was suddenly time for your N.E.W.T.s. You felt like you had been studying for this for years, yet you still didn’t feel ready. But you couldn’t wait any longer.

As you sat in the Great Hall with multiple other students, a black quill and ink placed in front of you, you truly felt nervous. You even felt nauseous, but you held your mouth shut incase you suddenly felt sick enough to puke. During the hour you answered multiple questions with sweat running down your forehead and your hand shaking so much that you almost made a mess, but as the sixty minutes had passed, you were finished. When you turned in your parchment, you immediately started praying that you had passed.

You couldn’t wait for the test results like others, so you rushed over to the Transfiguration classroom the second you had heard that professor Minerva McGonagall was there, grading the tests. Feeling so nervous that you could barely stand, you knocked on the door and then entered the classroom.

“Y/N, may I ask what you’re doing here?” professor McGonacall asked you as you rushed towards her desk.

“I’m sorry, but I have to ask this or I might go insane!” you confessed. “Can you tell me if I passed my N.E.W.T.s or not?”

Professor McGonagall looked through the papers until she found your test, covered with writing, but no marks yet that told you whether you got the answers right or wrong. “I’m sorry, but I haven’t graded it yet”, she told you strictly.

“Can you grade it now?” you asked maybe a little too bravely. Professor McGonagall seemed surprised, and a little offended, that you dared to be so straightforward and commanding, so you quickly said: “Please. It’s very important to me.”

Professor Minerva McGonagall was known for her cleverness and strictness, but she was also known for allowing some things to slide. She released a sigh, then forced a smile on her face. “Alright. Sit over there and be quiet, so I can grade it”, she told you, and after jumping with excitement, you took your seat.

And then, you waited. You did your best to be patient, scratching the skin by the side of your nails and tapping your foot (quietly) against the floor. You constantly feared that you hadn't passed which made you want to tell professor McGonagall to hurry up, but you knew better than to rush her. After a time that felt twice as long as it truly was, professor McGonagall came over to your desk and gave you a piece of paper that told you how well you had passed.

You grabbed it, feeling sweaty and sick and afraid of failure, but the longer you looked at the paper with your name on it, the anxiety eased its grip on you and allowed you to breath.

“Outstanding, outstanding, exceed expectations, another outstanding …”, you read out loud, then covered your mouth. “I passed.”

“And with eminent results”, professor McGonagall told you with a bright smile. “Seems like the only thing stopping you from completing this test last year was feelings of uncertainty.”

“I suppose so”, you said. Although you didn’t quite agree with that statement - You were still sure that last year you failed the test because you knew you hadn’t studied enough and had decided to give up. But that was now in the past. You had passed and were one step closer to becoming a healer. Or something else, if your career plans were to change.

“What are your plans for your future?” professor McGonagall asked. And that’s when your joy and pride disappeared and you became worried yet again. You didn’t know what the future was holding out for you. Like your mother, you wanted to become a healer and your dream would be working at St Mungo’s … But what about professor Snape? You wanted to be with him, to try and have a future with him if such a thing was even possible to achieve. But did he want the same thing? Would Severus really make such a risk?

“I gotta go”, you mumbled, pocketing the results of your N.E.W.T.s and packing up to the door. “Thank you again for … yeah. Thanks”, you mumbled to the professor and quickly ran off, not noticing the odd look McGonagall had given you right before you left.

As you ran towards the potions classroom, you had to force your way through multiple students that were hanging in the middle of the hallway. It seemed like everyone had just gotten out of classes and were chatting with their friends about their summer plans and how well they did this year. Just when you thought that your way was finally clear, your friend Avery stopped you. And to your displeasure, Kelly was with them.

“Rushing to detention, I see?” Kelly said, folding her arms over her chest and giving you a mean glare.

“Even professor Snape’s company is better than yours”, you told her.

To your surprise, Kelly giggled. “Ouch. That was a good one”, she said.

“No, really. Where are you going?” Avery asked, obviously noticing how you weren’t able to relax as you waited for that moment when you could continue running to professor Snape.

“To my detention”, you said truthfully. “I have to talk to professor Snape.”

“Never seen you in such a rush to see your least favorite teacher”, Avery chuckled.  Well, professor Snape was far from your least favorite teacher, but Avery didn’t have to know that.

“I’d love to chat, but honestly, I’m in a rush”, you said and gently pushed your way through your friend …. friends, jumping through the small gap between Kelly and Avery and continuing your journey to the potion’s classroom.

“See you later!” Avery shouted after you. You waved them goodbye before picking up your space and continuing to run towards your destination.

By the time you managed to get to the dungeons, there were no students around anymore. Most of them were probably outside with their friends, eating in the Great Hall or even visiting Hogsmeade. You, on the other hand, were knocking on the potions classroom door, silently praying that professor Snape was present.

And to your luck, he opened the door after a few seconds, looked around to make sure the coast was clear before welcoming you in. Severus closed the door behind you and then gave you a dirty look, like he was expecting you to jump right onto him. Well, you had planned to kiss him and really surprise him, but you could tell that Severus was against it. You’ve heard it multiple times now; _‘I won’t be intimate with you while you’re still my student’._ That’s what he always said, but never could keep it as a promise.

“You seem to be awfully in a good mood”, professor Snape detected and walked towards you. The way he simply walked made him seem so intimidating.

“I passed my N.E.W.T.s, Severus”, you told him, trying to hold back your excitement. But you never could control yourself around him, so soon you had wrapped your arms around him and hugged him tightly.

Severus chuckled as he welcomed you in, his arms wrapping around you gently, fitting so perfectly around your waist. “I almost hoped you’d fail them again, just so you could stay here another year”, he whispered before burying his face into your hair. You could hear him inhale, sniffing your scent, and you couldn’t help but giggle.

“Do you really mean that?” you asked. “You’d want to be with me for another year?”

Him saying that first seemed so unreal. Severus had proved to you that he liked you, maybe even more, but he still managed to try and keep this relationship professional and not let it escalate too far while you were still his student. Hearing him imply that he’d want to continue this relationship after you’re no longer a student made you feel high.

Severus seemed a little hesitant to answer, but then he deeply exhaled and pulled back, just enough so he could stare back into your hopeful eyes. “Always”, he said and smiled weakly. “Come live with me.”

He said it with such ease that first it felt like a bad joke and you were waiting for the punchline that never ended up coming. All you could do was stare into his eyes, finally being able to read them and realizing that Severus meant it. He wanted to be with you. Without even properly thinking if you were ready for it, and without even considering your other future plans, you just nodded.

“Okay”, you chuckled out, your eyes suddenly feeling wet.

“That’s it?” Severus raised an eyebrow. “You don’t need any persuasion? You’re far too amenable.”

“And you’re too fond of me”, you told him, leaning closer and giving him that doe-eyed looked that he seemed to like.

“Must be a side effect of an Amortentia potion”, Severus joked, even if joking was against his nature. You giggled as an answer before closing your eyes and leaning in to kiss him. Severus kissed you back passionately, his arms wrapping around you tighter, pulling you closer. 

And from that moment on, you truly knew you were lost.

  
  


\--

  
  


As you sat in the Hogwarts Express for the last time, you couldn’t help but tear up. It had been a privilege to attend at Hogwarts and enjoy everything the magical school had offered. Meeting new friends, learning new things, experiencing things you could only dream of, falling in love … It felt surreal that it was all over now and it was time for you to step into the world of other grown up witches and wizards. This time, you weren’t afraid of change. In fact, you were hopeful about the future for the first time in years.

You opened the window of the train and peeked out, letting the wind blow right into your face, messing up your hair and making the tie colored with your house colors fly around so hard it was about to fall off. You enjoyed the breeze and the view for only a minute, before you heard an owl screech and fly towards your direction. You immediately noticed a piece of paper wrapped around the owl’s foot, and despite the bird flapping its wings so roughly the feathers hit you in the face, you managed to grab the piece of parchment and let the owl continue its flight. After brushing off the few feathers that had stuck to your hair, you pulled yourself back into the carriage and closed the window.

“What does it say?” Avery asked, still giggling how ridiculous you had looked when trying to get the small letter from the owl’s foot. 

“I don’t know”, you said, slowly pulling at the thin rope wrapped around the parchment piece.

“Well, open it! Open it!” Avery rushed you, jumping up from their seat and sitting down next to you so they could peek over your shoulder and read, too.  You straightened the piece of parchment and started reading, smiling so uncomfortably hard that your cheeks immediately turned red.

  
  
  


**_“I’ll be waiting for you at Spinner’s End.”_ **

**_“SS”_ **

  
  


So mysterious, as expected. You didn’t know the date, nor the time, nor the exact address you were supposed to meet him at. But you didn’t care. The excitement of the unknown journey was enough to make you already plan your trip to Spinner’s End. You’d pack up your suitcase again the second you got home.

“SS? Who is ‘SS’?” Avery wondered out loud, staring at you, then back at the writing. You only smiled at them, waiting a long time for Avery to finally guess it right.

“No way --- Professor Snape?!”

  
  


\--

  
  


At the beginning of July you found yourself at Spinner's End with a large dusty suitcase and a bag hanging from your shoulder, hiding inside only the necessaries like your wand, your wallet and the train tickets you have already used to get to your destination. It was an old town with old buildings that made you feel nostalgic somehow. The streets were thin to walk through and the rocky road made your suitcase shake violently as it tried to follow your footsteps. There was barely anyone outside, but you weren't too surprised about it. It was so early that the sun had just started to peek over the horizon. And despite it being summer, it was a little chilly.

Your feet were aching but you forced your way forward, looking around to find anything that could lead you to Severus Snape, your former professor. Now he was just a familiar face in the crowd. A face you couldn't wait to see again.

Your father hadn't been too happy to hear that you were leaving home and going to meet a man you met at Hogwarts. He had warned you about all the dangers the world had to offer, and how you had to calculate every step instead of rushing into things just because your heart told you so. But you had already made up your mind. You felt safe, yet thrilled about the unknown. You knew what you were doing.

If you wouldn't be able to find Severus, or things simply wouldn't work out, you'd know where to go next.

Suddenly, you almost fell when your shoelaces had come undone, so you decided to stop quickly and bend down to tie them again. And when you stood back up and looked forward, you realized that you were no longer alone in the streets of Spinner's End. A familiar face stood in the distance, watching over you with a strict look on his eyes, but as you smiled at him, he smiled too. Severus put his right arm forward, offering it to you. He didn't take a single step toward you, but waited for you to come to him, if you still wanted to.

You did.

You left your suitcase and bag behind and ran towards him, and instead of grabbing him by his hand, you wrapped your arms around his form, holding onto him strongly. Severus hugged you back, first quite gently like he didn't want anyone to see him showing affection in public, before he pulled back and looked down at you.

"I was waiting for you", he said to you, a hand moving to caress your cheek. His hands no longer felt cold, but warm.

"I was waiting for you, too", you said quietly, blinking slowly before you closed your eyes and lifted yourself up on your toes, kissing Severus who happily welcomed you in.

Now, you were safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me a while to post this because I got an unpleasant comment, so now that this fic is finished, I want to clear some things up; Do not go and date your teacher lmao. I honestly did my best to make your and Snape's relationship seem real, true and ... not weird and creepy. I did my best to keep Severus in character, but also did my best to show that he truly cared for the reader and wasn't planning to hurt them. I also made the reader to be an adult in this story. But if this fic bothered anyone, I am sorry. I just wrote it for fun. I could have made the reader play as a professor, I know, but I have never written a Harry Potter fic before so I took the easy approach and wrote it mostly from the student's point of view.  
> Anyway. I still hope that you enjoyed reading this fanfiction.


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